1 00:00:18,016 --> 00:00:20,506 ( 2 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,186 (Radio) ' and the trash 3 00:00:28,484 --> 00:00:32,269 - ' - (Kid) 4 00:00:32,322 --> 00:00:36,191 - ' - (Kid) 5 00:00:36,285 --> 00:00:38,574 ' 6 00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,282 ' 7 00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:43,036 ' 8 00:00:44,126 --> 00:00:47,044 ' 9 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,456 ' 10 00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:54,092 ' 11 00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:55,965 - ' - (Mouths) 12 00:00:56,015 --> 00:00:58,305 ' 13 00:00:59,770 --> 00:01:02,556 ' 14 00:01:03,648 --> 00:01:06,056 ' 15 00:01:07,570 --> 00:01:09,692 ' 16 00:01:09,738 --> 00:01:11,732 ' - (Mouths) 17 00:01:11,783 --> 00:01:14,071 (Saxophone solo) 18 00:01:27,049 --> 00:01:29,837 - ' - (Kid) 19 00:01:30,971 --> 00:01:33,343 ' 20 00:01:34,807 --> 00:01:37,097 ' 21 00:01:38,521 --> 00:01:40,762 ' 22 00:01:40,814 --> 00:01:43,733 - ' - (Mouths) 23 00:01:58,208 --> 00:02:02,290 - ' - 24 00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:06,088 - ' - 25 00:02:06,134 --> 00:02:08,211 ' 26 00:02:10,555 --> 00:02:14,471 (Kid) You messed up the words, Ben. You messed up the words twice! 27 00:02:14,519 --> 00:02:17,687 (Man) Oh, wow. It hasn't changed. 28 00:02:17,731 --> 00:02:21,515 (Woman) I would have thought they'd made some improvements. 29 00:02:21,568 --> 00:02:24,024 Come on. Everybody. 30 00:02:24,071 --> 00:02:27,357 Our Lady of Victory, pray for us. Break! Let's go. 31 00:02:29,409 --> 00:02:31,533 (Man) Watch the doors. 32 00:02:31,579 --> 00:02:33,786 Whoa! Trees in the parking lot! 33 00:02:35,125 --> 00:02:37,663 (Laughing) Oh. 34 00:02:39,047 --> 00:02:41,453 Nature all around us, boys. 35 00:02:41,507 --> 00:02:43,583 Take it in. Take it all in. 36 00:02:46,762 --> 00:02:50,131 (Inhales) I'm gonna go check us in. 37 00:02:51,058 --> 00:02:53,135 This is great. 38 00:03:06,242 --> 00:03:09,363 Well? Is this a real north woods lodge or what? 39 00:03:09,413 --> 00:03:11,572 - Uh-huh. - It's great. 40 00:03:11,623 --> 00:03:14,411 Check out the shotgun lamp. 41 00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:18,162 Isn't that something? You don't see that every day. 42 00:03:19,007 --> 00:03:20,288 Hey! 43 00:03:21,884 --> 00:03:24,091 Hello? Anybody home? 44 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:27,590 - Looks the same, doesn't it? - Doesn't it? 45 00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:31,010 - Smells the same too. - Yeah, it does. Hello! 46 00:03:32,731 --> 00:03:35,138 - Do they have chickens? - What's this? 47 00:03:35,191 --> 00:03:37,314 "For prompt service, blow me." 48 00:03:38,736 --> 00:03:40,979 - Interesting touch. - Charming. 49 00:03:42,116 --> 00:03:44,108 - Blow it. - Shall I? 50 00:03:46,495 --> 00:03:48,654 ( 51 00:03:51,334 --> 00:03:54,252 - ( - Yeah! 52 00:03:54,296 --> 00:03:56,621 Whoa! 53 00:03:56,673 --> 00:03:58,168 Jeez! 54 00:03:59,927 --> 00:04:02,419 Don't mind Wormer. She hates people. 55 00:04:02,472 --> 00:04:05,805 Wormer, shut the frig up. What can I do you for? 56 00:04:05,849 --> 00:04:09,016 What happened to that dog's face? 57 00:04:09,061 --> 00:04:12,229 Porcupine quills. Loves porcupines, hates people. 58 00:04:12,274 --> 00:04:14,101 She's in heat too. 59 00:04:14,151 --> 00:04:17,151 Too bad you're not a dog. What can I do you for? 60 00:04:26,248 --> 00:04:29,368 Has your dog ever had a bath before? 61 00:04:29,418 --> 00:04:32,169 There she is. That's a gorgeous cabin. 62 00:04:33,548 --> 00:04:36,668 OK. Hold it. That's good enough. 63 00:04:36,718 --> 00:04:39,470 That's bigger than our honeymoon cabin. 64 00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:43,345 You city-dwelling fools are lucky to have this cabin. 65 00:04:43,392 --> 00:04:48,019 - It became available yesterday. - We call it "the loon's nest". 66 00:04:48,064 --> 00:04:52,109 - Know what a loon is? - Yeah, we have one in our family. 67 00:04:52,151 --> 00:04:56,363 We had a fishing party in there. They caught their limit and blew. 68 00:04:56,406 --> 00:04:58,898 - It's all redecorated. - Every bit. 69 00:04:58,951 --> 00:05:03,827 We sank over 300 bucks into it, not counting what we spent on Lysol. 70 00:05:03,873 --> 00:05:08,121 - Is that right? - It's beautiful. Enjoy your stay. 71 00:05:08,170 --> 00:05:11,253 - Thanks. - How could you not in this place? 72 00:05:11,296 --> 00:05:13,836 You could get the shits from the well water. 73 00:05:13,884 --> 00:05:16,458 - What did he say? - I missed it. 74 00:05:43,416 --> 00:05:45,492 What a gas. 75 00:05:45,543 --> 00:05:48,380 Chet's gonna shit a solid gold brick! 76 00:05:49,632 --> 00:05:52,254 I'll go see where he's bivouacked the family. 77 00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:54,922 This is very unfair, Roman. 78 00:05:54,970 --> 00:05:57,926 What? We're a family, for crying out loud! 79 00:05:57,975 --> 00:06:01,558 We're always inviting Chet and Connie to the islands. 80 00:06:01,604 --> 00:06:05,684 - We weren't invited here. - They'll be tickled to see us. 81 00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:09,316 Honey? I found out what was stinking up the shower. 82 00:06:10,322 --> 00:06:12,860 A present from me to you. 83 00:06:14,326 --> 00:06:17,945 How thoughtful. Put it in there with the others. 84 00:06:17,997 --> 00:06:20,666 There's fish everywhere. Look, a pink one. 85 00:06:20,708 --> 00:06:24,492 All right, let's leave this stuff right here, OK? 86 00:06:24,546 --> 00:06:27,381 Get your bathing suit and we'll go to the lake. 87 00:06:27,424 --> 00:06:30,839 No, you go. I just can't seem to relax in filth. 88 00:06:30,885 --> 00:06:33,757 We'll all clean up later. Let's go. 89 00:06:33,806 --> 00:06:36,842 Someone has to find the toilet seat. 90 00:06:36,893 --> 00:06:40,143 - Buck found it on the sun porch. - Sun porch? 91 00:06:40,188 --> 00:06:42,477 - It makes you wonder. - No excuses. 92 00:06:42,524 --> 00:06:44,434 - What are you doing? - I don't know. 93 00:06:44,485 --> 00:06:46,442 - Stop it. - The kids are at the lake. 94 00:06:46,486 --> 00:06:48,978 - Chet, what are you doing? - Nothing. 95 00:06:49,031 --> 00:06:50,525 Honey, no. 96 00:06:50,574 --> 00:06:53,575 We got the house to ourselves. Hello! 97 00:06:53,619 --> 00:06:56,537 Oh, no, what happened? I'm sorry. 98 00:06:56,581 --> 00:06:59,950 I just don't feel like this. I'm tired, I'm stinky. 99 00:07:00,001 --> 00:07:01,994 - Come on. - What are you doing? 100 00:07:02,045 --> 00:07:05,165 - We got the house by ourselves. - What about the kids? 101 00:07:05,215 --> 00:07:07,375 - They're down the lake. - Don't! 102 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,881 - Let's go to the bedroom. - Why? 103 00:07:09,928 --> 00:07:13,013 That's the great thing about being in the woods. 104 00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,929 - What are you feeding me now? - Come on. 105 00:07:15,978 --> 00:07:19,597 You can run around naked and you won't run into anybody. 106 00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:22,056 - Is that right? - Yes. 107 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,437 Really? 108 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:28,564 Do you think it's possible that we could play fashion parade? 109 00:07:28,617 --> 00:07:30,609 - I don't want to play. - Why? 110 00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:34,528 - You get to wear the good outfits. - I'll let you wear them. 111 00:07:34,581 --> 00:07:37,500 - You will? - You will be Shelana. 112 00:07:38,378 --> 00:07:42,707 - Shelana, the oak tree woman. - I love being the oak tree woman! 113 00:07:42,757 --> 00:07:46,209 - Temptress of the woods. - Yes! 114 00:07:46,261 --> 00:07:50,093 And I will be Burt. A guy named Burt. 115 00:07:51,142 --> 00:07:54,725 I love it when you're Burt. You're always so manly. 116 00:07:54,771 --> 00:07:57,226 Or I could be Smokey's cousin Horny. 117 00:07:57,273 --> 00:08:00,275 - He has endurance too. - Yes, he does. 118 00:08:02,404 --> 00:08:04,443 (Roman) Anybody home? 119 00:08:04,489 --> 00:08:06,861 (Chuckling) 120 00:08:06,908 --> 00:08:11,784 Shelana the woods temptress with Horny the bear, Smokey's cousin? 121 00:08:14,083 --> 00:08:15,910 OK. OK. 122 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,413 - Turn that off. - Oh, yeah! No, Chester, you said it. 123 00:08:19,464 --> 00:08:22,170 Do it on the floor! 124 00:08:22,218 --> 00:08:24,340 Beautiful style. That's all right. 125 00:08:24,386 --> 00:08:28,336 Role-playing helps in a marriage after a while. 126 00:08:28,390 --> 00:08:30,467 Turn the damn thing off. 127 00:08:34,315 --> 00:08:37,813 That was quite a surprise. You got me. 128 00:08:37,859 --> 00:08:39,900 (Chuckles) 129 00:08:39,946 --> 00:08:42,651 And the whole week you'll be here. 130 00:08:42,699 --> 00:08:45,451 Ha-ha, OK! 131 00:08:45,493 --> 00:08:48,245 Oh, wow. Just something. 132 00:08:49,289 --> 00:08:51,863 Anyway, you're an intelligent man. 133 00:08:51,917 --> 00:08:53,495 Thank you. 134 00:08:53,544 --> 00:08:55,620 - Make a good living. - Not bad. 135 00:08:55,671 --> 00:08:57,830 - Got a good life. - Pretty good. 136 00:08:57,882 --> 00:08:59,708 - Answer me this. - Sure. 137 00:08:59,758 --> 00:09:03,211 Why would you want to come to a no-man's-land like this 138 00:09:03,263 --> 00:09:06,051 and live like a barbarian for a week? 139 00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:09,099 - You wouldn't understand. - Try me. 140 00:09:10,187 --> 00:09:14,269 I have great memories of this country. I used to come here with my dad 141 00:09:14,318 --> 00:09:17,152 and I want the boys to have the same memories. 142 00:09:17,195 --> 00:09:21,656 Look around you, Roman, for God's sakes, this is beautiful country. 143 00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:23,527 Take a good look. 144 00:09:23,577 --> 00:09:26,828 I'll tell you what I see, if you want to know. 145 00:09:26,873 --> 00:09:28,949 Yeah, I'm curious. 146 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:33,080 The underdeveloped resources of Minnesota, Wisconsin and Michigan, 147 00:09:33,129 --> 00:09:37,627 a consortium exploiting over a billion dollars in forest products. 148 00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:40,843 I see a paper mill and a mining operation, 149 00:09:40,888 --> 00:09:44,424 a green belt between lakeside condos and a waste management facility 150 00:09:44,476 --> 00:09:48,176 focusing on the newest rage in waste - medical refuse. 151 00:09:48,229 --> 00:09:51,978 Infected bandages, body parts, IV tubing, syringes, 152 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:55,228 fluid, blood, radioactive waste - all contained, 153 00:09:55,278 --> 00:09:58,530 sunken in the lake and sealed for centuries. 154 00:09:58,575 --> 00:10:01,148 I ask you, what do you see? 155 00:10:04,622 --> 00:10:06,782 I just see... 156 00:10:06,834 --> 00:10:08,910 see trees. 157 00:10:08,961 --> 00:10:12,294 No one ever accused you of having a grand vision. 158 00:10:12,339 --> 00:10:15,791 While the ambitious scramble for wealth and power, 159 00:10:15,844 --> 00:10:18,215 the Chets of the world can lay back 160 00:10:18,262 --> 00:10:21,513 and casually stroll along life's path. 161 00:10:21,558 --> 00:10:24,050 - That's a compliment. - Oh, thanks. 162 00:10:24,103 --> 00:10:28,231 The rest of us will probably die of strokes long before you! 163 00:10:28,274 --> 00:10:30,682 I hope so. Wouldn't that be great? 164 00:10:30,735 --> 00:10:35,895 To see a bunch of people drop that you hate. That'd be something else. 165 00:10:36,907 --> 00:10:39,578 My goodness! My goodness me. 166 00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:42,538 I'm going to walk down life's path right now. 167 00:10:42,581 --> 00:10:44,739 Get the barbecue going, hot dogs... 168 00:10:44,791 --> 00:10:48,078 Wait a minute. No way. Wait a hot shit minute. 169 00:10:48,129 --> 00:10:51,130 Rule one - no relative of mine is eating hot dogs 170 00:10:51,174 --> 00:10:53,926 as long as he's sharing my cabin. Katie! 171 00:10:55,138 --> 00:10:58,552 Do you sense the presence of an alien life form? 172 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:03,516 Now you mention it, I do sense something kind of strange. 173 00:11:07,107 --> 00:11:08,768 Oh sh... 174 00:11:08,819 --> 00:11:11,736 ( 175 00:11:13,991 --> 00:11:16,316 Did I tell you about the futures market? 176 00:11:16,369 --> 00:11:19,738 - Probably. - We got a Deutschmarks contract, 177 00:11:19,789 --> 00:11:22,956 sat on it a week, sold it, took in a 300% profit. 178 00:11:25,922 --> 00:11:29,621 Well, easy money is money easily lost. 179 00:11:29,675 --> 00:11:33,293 I can't believe how old-fashioned your thinking is. 180 00:11:34,723 --> 00:11:38,767 - 300% profit, huh? - Sometimes 200% or 100%. 181 00:11:38,810 --> 00:11:41,384 Take the good with the bad. 182 00:11:41,438 --> 00:11:44,273 Yeah. Still, that's pretty good. 183 00:11:44,316 --> 00:11:48,445 Point of the matter is, you should have your piece too. 184 00:11:49,197 --> 00:11:50,821 Whoa! Hot! 185 00:11:50,865 --> 00:11:55,195 - How are those tails? - They're 28 bucks a pop. 186 00:11:55,245 --> 00:12:00,369 28? Oh, my God. Chet and I haven't had lobster since our anniversary. 187 00:12:01,376 --> 00:12:04,746 - Oh, my God. A jumping lobster! - Save that one. 188 00:12:04,798 --> 00:12:07,502 - That'll be for me. - I'll make sure of that. 189 00:12:07,550 --> 00:12:10,220 The gourmet here wanted hot dogs. 190 00:12:11,262 --> 00:12:13,421 You know what they're made of? 191 00:12:13,473 --> 00:12:15,466 Lips and assholes. 192 00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:19,598 (Sarcastic laughter) I'm old-fashioned. I like assholes. 193 00:12:19,647 --> 00:12:21,474 Ha! And I like lips! 194 00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:26,774 If I could market lips like those, I'd make another million! 195 00:12:26,822 --> 00:12:28,898 (Laughter) 196 00:12:33,870 --> 00:12:37,455 (Roman) Lobster turned out all right, if I do say so myself. 197 00:12:38,418 --> 00:12:41,787 We should go into town and pick up a ski boat. 198 00:12:41,839 --> 00:12:43,914 What do you say? Sound good, guys? 199 00:12:43,965 --> 00:12:47,500 Uncle Roman will blow some coin on a kick-ass drag boat. 200 00:12:47,552 --> 00:12:49,510 We're renting a pontoon boat. 201 00:12:49,555 --> 00:12:52,925 Pontoon boat. What are you going to do with a pontoon boat? 202 00:12:52,976 --> 00:12:55,431 Retake Omaha Beach? 203 00:12:55,478 --> 00:12:59,607 Not at all. A pontoon boat, you go out and cruise the lake. 204 00:12:59,650 --> 00:13:02,355 You swim from them, fish from them, 205 00:13:02,403 --> 00:13:06,067 even bring the barbecue out. You have a great time. 206 00:13:06,114 --> 00:13:08,238 You tour the lake in comfort. 207 00:13:08,284 --> 00:13:10,609 You guys want to cruise in comfort 208 00:13:10,662 --> 00:13:13,497 or would you rather skim the waves in a jet boat? 209 00:13:13,540 --> 00:13:15,616 Jet boat! 210 00:13:15,667 --> 00:13:18,158 - Sorry, Dad. - (Roman) Attaboy, Benny! 211 00:13:18,211 --> 00:13:20,668 All right, that's my man. 212 00:13:20,715 --> 00:13:22,754 Care to put it to a vote? 213 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:26,714 We don't need a vote. You want a jet boat, get a jet boat. 214 00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:30,132 - Buck and I are getting a pontoon boat. - Sorry, Dad. 215 00:13:30,183 --> 00:13:32,390 Directly from the mouths of babes! 216 00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:35,390 Are you going to argue or enjoy yourselves? 217 00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:37,396 I'm enjoying, Chet's arguing! 218 00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:41,522 How about if the kids catch fireflies? We can play cards. 219 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:46,234 Cara, Mara. You little dolls want to go outside and catch fireflies? 220 00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:48,573 Honey, they don't like bugs. 221 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:51,705 What? All kids like bugs. They're cute. 222 00:13:51,749 --> 00:13:55,166 Especially fireflies. Their butts light up. 223 00:13:55,212 --> 00:13:57,287 (Screams echo) 224 00:14:00,008 --> 00:14:02,581 I am a killer Monopoly player. 225 00:14:02,636 --> 00:14:05,174 Roman taught me. He's vicious. 226 00:14:05,222 --> 00:14:08,972 - (Roman) Buddy Riecher died. - Oh, no. 227 00:14:09,019 --> 00:14:11,094 President of Energy Resources. 228 00:14:11,145 --> 00:14:13,471 - Honey. - Died in bed. 229 00:14:13,523 --> 00:14:17,107 - He was your mentor, wasn't he? - A man I admired. 230 00:14:17,153 --> 00:14:20,188 - I'm trying to read here! - Sorry. Sorry. 231 00:14:20,238 --> 00:14:23,442 I think I have to, er, tell you this story. 232 00:14:24,535 --> 00:14:28,320 A story that might save your lives up here in the woods. 233 00:14:28,373 --> 00:14:31,042 I know the Heimlich maneuver. 234 00:14:32,502 --> 00:14:34,579 No. This is a... 235 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,915 a bear story. 236 00:14:40,011 --> 00:14:42,086 A true bear story. 237 00:14:44,724 --> 00:14:47,346 Connie and I honeymooned at this very lake. 238 00:14:47,394 --> 00:14:49,268 Big spender! 239 00:14:49,313 --> 00:14:52,978 - We stayed at my uncle's cabin. - Uncle George? 240 00:14:53,024 --> 00:14:55,266 Yeah. That's right. 241 00:14:55,319 --> 00:14:57,811 One night we were getting ready for bed 242 00:14:57,864 --> 00:15:02,859 and we heard this terrible noise out by the trash cans. 243 00:15:02,911 --> 00:15:05,319 You remember? And, er... 244 00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:09,869 I went downstairs to check it out, looked out the window... 245 00:15:12,130 --> 00:15:14,123 and there... 246 00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:19,216 was the biggest, baddest bear in the north woods. 247 00:15:19,263 --> 00:15:24,091 - Sure, Dad. - No, it's true. It's true. 248 00:15:24,143 --> 00:15:28,556 This bear was over eight feet high. 249 00:15:29,774 --> 00:15:33,226 With big, white teeth. 250 00:15:33,278 --> 00:15:36,730 - (Growling) - Fangs... 251 00:15:36,782 --> 00:15:38,858 stained pink... 252 00:15:40,077 --> 00:15:43,945 from whatever it killed before it got to our cabin. 253 00:15:45,334 --> 00:15:47,491 It was frightening. 254 00:15:48,962 --> 00:15:50,955 Frightening. 255 00:15:51,965 --> 00:15:57,007 - The paws on this thing were immense. - Urgh. 256 00:15:57,054 --> 00:15:59,972 With big, black claws. 257 00:16:01,017 --> 00:16:03,342 Razor sharp... 258 00:16:03,394 --> 00:16:05,933 like Freddy Krueger. 259 00:16:05,981 --> 00:16:08,020 (Screams) 260 00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:11,523 Only worse, worse. 261 00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:15,949 This wasn't a movie. This was happening right in front of me. 262 00:16:15,993 --> 00:16:19,027 And all that separated me from that bear... 263 00:16:20,163 --> 00:16:21,788 was a pane of glass. 264 00:16:21,831 --> 00:16:24,620 Honey, maybe we shouldn't tell this story... 265 00:16:24,669 --> 00:16:27,124 - It's fine. - I'm thinking about nightmares. 266 00:16:27,171 --> 00:16:30,125 No, no. They have to hear this. 267 00:16:30,174 --> 00:16:35,417 Like I say, it might save their life one day. 268 00:16:37,516 --> 00:16:42,261 Now, I saw that bear. It saw me. 269 00:16:43,188 --> 00:16:45,181 And it was hungry. 270 00:16:46,193 --> 00:16:48,185 Hungry for blood! 271 00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,901 Human blood. 272 00:16:51,948 --> 00:16:55,567 You see, once a bear gets a taste for blood... 273 00:16:56,829 --> 00:16:58,821 it craves it. 274 00:16:59,874 --> 00:17:04,833 It needs it. It will do anything it can to get it. 275 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,251 That bear had become... 276 00:17:07,298 --> 00:17:09,375 a man-eater! 277 00:17:10,386 --> 00:17:14,169 Our eyes locked. My heart was pumping. 278 00:17:14,222 --> 00:17:20,512 Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump. 279 00:17:20,564 --> 00:17:24,775 I ran into the living room, grabbed the shotgun off the mantle, 280 00:17:24,817 --> 00:17:30,158 turned around, and there was that bear right in the window. 281 00:17:30,199 --> 00:17:33,984 Its breath was fogging up the glass. 282 00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:41,168 And suddenly, it let out this god-awful roar. 283 00:17:41,211 --> 00:17:45,161 (Roaring) 284 00:17:45,215 --> 00:17:49,962 It started smashing the walls. Pots and pans started rattling, 285 00:17:50,013 --> 00:17:53,382 the walls shimmering and the floorboards lifting. 286 00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:57,182 I knew then that it was either the bear or your mom and I. 287 00:17:57,229 --> 00:18:01,476 So I raised the rifle, I took aim and I fired. 288 00:18:01,525 --> 00:18:03,068 (Gunshot echoes) 289 00:18:03,110 --> 00:18:05,270 - You wasted her? - No, Benny. 290 00:18:05,322 --> 00:18:08,690 - A shotgun's not going to kill that. - What happened? 291 00:18:08,741 --> 00:18:13,071 The buckshot shaved the hair clean off the top of its head. 292 00:18:13,121 --> 00:18:16,242 It ran off. We never saw it again. 293 00:18:17,293 --> 00:18:19,749 I hear from my uncle now and then... 294 00:18:21,005 --> 00:18:26,760 and he'd tell us about the baldheaded killer bear in the area. 295 00:18:28,639 --> 00:18:31,557 The baldheaded killer bear... 296 00:18:32,643 --> 00:18:35,099 of Clare County. 297 00:18:35,146 --> 00:18:40,935 - Is she still around? - Oh! No, no. That bear's gone. 298 00:18:40,985 --> 00:18:44,937 Well, she may be out there. (Sighs) 299 00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:47,908 Crazy, bloodthirsty as ever. 300 00:18:49,037 --> 00:18:52,121 So when you go to bed tonight... 301 00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:55,036 if you hear a noise... 302 00:18:55,085 --> 00:18:57,161 whatever you do... 303 00:18:57,212 --> 00:19:00,333 don't look out the window. 304 00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:03,381 Because it might be a bear! 305 00:19:03,427 --> 00:19:05,716 (Screaming) 306 00:19:05,763 --> 00:19:08,136 Christ! I'm half-drunk here, Chet! 307 00:19:08,183 --> 00:19:11,801 - Are you trying to give me nightmares? - Come on. 308 00:19:11,853 --> 00:19:14,640 I can't believe you, Dad! 309 00:19:14,689 --> 00:19:17,264 - Benny, honey. - Thank you! 310 00:19:17,318 --> 00:19:22,478 I'm 25 pounds overweight, I don't need a blast to the ticker like that! 311 00:19:22,531 --> 00:19:27,988 - Really inappropriate, Chet. - What? It was a story. Come on. 312 00:19:29,081 --> 00:19:33,162 Oh, come on. It was a kind of true story. 313 00:19:33,211 --> 00:19:36,958 Part of it happened. I just embellished a bit. Come on! 314 00:19:37,005 --> 00:19:39,379 What? What is that look? 315 00:19:40,927 --> 00:19:45,221 So now I get the look? I was just trying to have fun. 316 00:19:46,016 --> 00:19:47,974 Oh, God! 317 00:19:48,018 --> 00:19:50,688 So I made the fangs a little bigger. Jeez! 318 00:19:57,654 --> 00:20:02,151 (Chet) You have nothing to be afraid of, OK? I mean it. 319 00:20:03,537 --> 00:20:07,367 It's a story my dad told me and I'm sure his dad told him, 320 00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:10,036 and I'm telling you. It's made up. 321 00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:14,248 One day you're going to tell it to your kids, I guarantee it. 322 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:21,461 Good evening. How's it going? 323 00:20:24,267 --> 00:20:26,557 Listen, girls... 324 00:20:26,604 --> 00:20:28,892 As your father, 325 00:20:28,938 --> 00:20:32,355 I feel it incumbent upon me to set the record straight 326 00:20:32,401 --> 00:20:35,736 on the validity of the tale Uncle Chet shared with us. 327 00:20:36,865 --> 00:20:40,565 A story like that coming from an authority figure 328 00:20:40,618 --> 00:20:42,860 could be traumatizing for kids. 329 00:20:42,913 --> 00:20:47,160 I had a similar experience with my Uncle Roy and a story he told 330 00:20:47,209 --> 00:20:51,753 about a family who were attacked by a band of psychiatric patients 331 00:20:51,798 --> 00:20:54,834 who had been subjected to violent, hellish 332 00:20:54,884 --> 00:20:57,554 behavior modification experiments. 333 00:20:57,596 --> 00:21:01,011 They escaped from the metal boxes the army kept them in, 334 00:21:01,057 --> 00:21:04,308 found this family in the woods, fell upon them, 335 00:21:04,352 --> 00:21:06,595 slaughtered them and ate them. 336 00:21:06,648 --> 00:21:10,265 That story gave me nightmares not to be believed, 337 00:21:10,317 --> 00:21:14,399 so I don't want Uncle Chet's bear story to upset you. 338 00:21:14,448 --> 00:21:16,985 So I'm here to say that there is no bear 339 00:21:17,033 --> 00:21:21,945 and that all Uncle Chet was saying was just a yarn for our entertainment 340 00:21:21,997 --> 00:21:26,042 and even if there were a bear, I'm in the house to protect you. 341 00:21:27,212 --> 00:21:32,040 So, no more thinking about bears, all right? 342 00:21:32,092 --> 00:21:34,168 No more unpleasant things. 343 00:21:34,219 --> 00:21:36,758 We're going to close our eyes 344 00:21:36,806 --> 00:21:40,756 and dream about nice things. 345 00:21:40,810 --> 00:21:45,852 About cuddly, soft, fluffy things. 346 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,648 OK? 347 00:21:49,695 --> 00:21:51,569 Super. 348 00:21:51,614 --> 00:21:54,022 Good night. Sleep tight. 349 00:22:02,710 --> 00:22:06,042 (Raccoons chittering) 'Hey, kids... New people in the loon's nest.' 350 00:22:06,087 --> 00:22:08,295 'They have Illinois plates, Mom.' 351 00:22:10,676 --> 00:22:14,212 'If they're from Chicago, we'll be eating good. 352 00:22:16,850 --> 00:22:19,222 'Lobster tails! 353 00:22:20,062 --> 00:22:22,767 'A shitload of raw hot dogs.' 354 00:22:23,859 --> 00:22:26,894 'You know what they're made of... 355 00:22:26,944 --> 00:22:29,317 'lips and assholes!' 356 00:22:46,383 --> 00:22:48,422 (Snoring) 357 00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:50,676 (Clock ticking) 358 00:22:57,687 --> 00:22:59,311 Honey? 359 00:23:00,356 --> 00:23:03,940 Chet? Where are you? 360 00:23:07,113 --> 00:23:11,277 Oh, God! That's rotted. Oh! 361 00:23:12,912 --> 00:23:15,829 Jerry Asner, please. Roman Craig. 362 00:23:15,873 --> 00:23:19,871 Yeah, I can't hold for long. My signal's kind of weak. 363 00:23:32,892 --> 00:23:34,969 - Honey? - Yes, Roman? 364 00:23:35,020 --> 00:23:38,305 Why do Chet's kids look at him like he's Zeus? 365 00:23:38,356 --> 00:23:42,485 My kids look at me like I'm a rack of yard tools at Sears. 366 00:23:43,529 --> 00:23:46,280 I mean, why can't they connect with me? 367 00:23:47,325 --> 00:23:52,403 Maybe if you spent less time at work, things would be different. 368 00:23:52,456 --> 00:23:55,824 Put a cork in it, honey. Talkin' business. Jerry? 369 00:23:55,875 --> 00:23:58,118 Roman. How are you? 370 00:23:58,171 --> 00:24:01,208 I'll save us trouble and cut right to the chase. 371 00:24:01,258 --> 00:24:03,830 I've got an investment opportunity. 372 00:24:03,884 --> 00:24:07,219 You got about three minutes and 25 grand? Jerry? 373 00:24:07,264 --> 00:24:09,007 Did you hear what I said? 374 00:24:09,058 --> 00:24:11,893 Lost the signal. These phones don't work. 375 00:24:11,936 --> 00:24:16,230 - Maybe he hung up. - Why would a minister hang up? 376 00:24:16,274 --> 00:24:19,726 - I've been to his church. - Oh, yeah. Once! 377 00:24:21,988 --> 00:24:24,147 All right! 378 00:24:24,199 --> 00:24:26,487 How about that? 379 00:24:26,534 --> 00:24:29,702 We'll be scraping the bugs off our teeth with this! 380 00:24:29,747 --> 00:24:32,867 - Dad. - That's too much boat. 381 00:24:32,917 --> 00:24:34,992 - Look... - It's just too much. 382 00:24:35,043 --> 00:24:38,628 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. You hungry? 383 00:24:38,673 --> 00:24:42,043 Give me four chili dogs and two plain dogs, please. 384 00:24:42,094 --> 00:24:45,677 - That's six hot dogs. - It's for everybody. 385 00:24:45,723 --> 00:24:47,799 And I'm hungry. 386 00:24:48,893 --> 00:24:50,637 - So? - Yeah. 387 00:24:50,687 --> 00:24:54,472 Do you mind if I just walk around? Cruise the town? 388 00:24:54,525 --> 00:24:57,193 I can walk back when I'm done. 389 00:24:57,235 --> 00:25:01,898 All right. But you gotta promise me we'll spend some time together. 390 00:25:01,950 --> 00:25:04,026 - That's why we're here. - I know. 391 00:25:04,077 --> 00:25:07,327 That's the whole point - to be in the woods, 392 00:25:07,372 --> 00:25:10,159 together, rugged, manly, the full nine yards. 393 00:25:10,208 --> 00:25:12,664 - Exactly. - Right? 394 00:25:14,046 --> 00:25:16,086 - Give me a hug. - What? 395 00:25:16,132 --> 00:25:18,457 - Give me a hug. - Dad... 396 00:25:18,509 --> 00:25:22,756 - I'm too old for hugs. - You're never too old for hugs. 397 00:25:22,805 --> 00:25:25,808 - Can I go now? Thank you very much. - Go. 398 00:25:25,851 --> 00:25:30,643 Bring back your friends for a ride in "suck my wake". 399 00:25:33,068 --> 00:25:35,144 (Engine roars) 400 00:25:37,739 --> 00:25:39,068 Great! 401 00:25:40,909 --> 00:25:43,152 You've got it in neutral! 402 00:25:44,412 --> 00:25:45,788 It's OK. 403 00:25:45,832 --> 00:25:48,703 It's in neutral. You gotta put it... 404 00:25:58,971 --> 00:26:01,640 (Laughter) 405 00:26:05,812 --> 00:26:09,312 - OK. - I'll figure it out. Just give me the skis. 406 00:26:09,358 --> 00:26:12,727 I'm sorry. I forgot. You're a professional skier. 407 00:26:12,778 --> 00:26:14,854 You don't need any notes. 408 00:26:14,905 --> 00:26:18,357 Any help from someone who might know about skiing. 409 00:26:18,409 --> 00:26:21,246 - We'll go over it once more. - Fine. 410 00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:23,244 - This is important. - OK! 411 00:26:23,288 --> 00:26:25,413 What are we doing sitting here? 412 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:29,243 He's teaching the kid. He wants Benny to be safe. 413 00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:32,167 Lean back. That feel better? 414 00:26:32,216 --> 00:26:35,716 There you go. We're leaning back. There's trouble. 415 00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:38,632 - What? - Trouble. There's trouble. 416 00:26:38,681 --> 00:26:42,680 Come on. What do we do? Let go of the rope. 417 00:26:43,771 --> 00:26:46,557 If you're in trouble, let go of the rope. 418 00:26:46,606 --> 00:26:50,771 Remember, go loose when you fall. Just go loose. 419 00:26:50,820 --> 00:26:52,897 - What's he doing? - I don't know. 420 00:26:52,948 --> 00:26:55,437 - He's shaking. - He's got a new dance. 421 00:26:55,491 --> 00:26:59,537 - Hold this. Thanks, Dad. - Are you going to ski or what? 422 00:26:59,579 --> 00:27:03,115 I can't tell you how important this is. 423 00:27:06,379 --> 00:27:08,751 (Roman) Let's go. Ski or flee. 424 00:27:08,798 --> 00:27:10,874 Honey, he's waving. 425 00:27:11,968 --> 00:27:14,674 - He's going? - He's going. Great. 426 00:27:18,267 --> 00:27:20,674 Whoa! 427 00:27:27,735 --> 00:27:29,812 Hey, Dad, let go of the rope! 428 00:27:30,906 --> 00:27:33,030 Oh, my God! 429 00:27:33,076 --> 00:27:35,198 Help me, for God's sake! 430 00:27:35,244 --> 00:27:38,494 Holy shit! 431 00:27:38,539 --> 00:27:40,782 Oh, no! 432 00:27:42,877 --> 00:27:44,835 Wow! 433 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:46,707 Whoa! 434 00:27:54,224 --> 00:27:56,632 You bastard! 435 00:27:58,395 --> 00:28:01,099 (Chet yelling) 436 00:28:02,483 --> 00:28:05,934 - You bastard! - What's he saying? 437 00:28:07,447 --> 00:28:09,404 - You bastard! - What's he saying? 438 00:28:09,449 --> 00:28:11,525 - Faster. - Faster? 439 00:28:11,576 --> 00:28:13,449 Go faster. 440 00:28:13,494 --> 00:28:15,737 (Roman cackling) 441 00:28:17,583 --> 00:28:19,577 What the hell are you doing? 442 00:28:19,628 --> 00:28:22,164 I'd love to see him rocksie! 443 00:28:27,552 --> 00:28:30,043 I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead! 444 00:28:30,097 --> 00:28:32,802 I'm dead! I'm dying! I'm dying! 445 00:28:32,850 --> 00:28:36,265 I'm dying! I'm dying! 446 00:28:39,148 --> 00:28:42,565 I'm alive. I'm alive. Thank you. Thank you. 447 00:28:44,612 --> 00:28:46,771 Oh, no! 448 00:28:52,747 --> 00:28:55,617 (Screams) 449 00:29:07,972 --> 00:29:11,341 (Groaning) 450 00:29:19,192 --> 00:29:20,936 (Panting) 451 00:29:22,697 --> 00:29:24,772 (Cheering) 452 00:29:24,823 --> 00:29:27,659 (Man) What a show! What a champion! 453 00:29:37,921 --> 00:29:40,839 - What are you doing? - What does it look like? 454 00:29:40,883 --> 00:29:43,802 I am not taking any more of Roman's crap. 455 00:29:43,845 --> 00:29:46,052 You can stay cos I'm out of here. 456 00:29:46,098 --> 00:29:49,300 What happened that got you so crazy? 457 00:29:49,350 --> 00:29:52,518 What happened? Come on, what happened? 458 00:29:52,563 --> 00:29:57,024 How about Roman dragging me all over the goddamn lake? 459 00:29:57,068 --> 00:29:59,855 - Have you seen my ass? - Not recently. 460 00:29:59,904 --> 00:30:02,739 I'll be picking splinters out of it till I die! 461 00:30:02,782 --> 00:30:06,698 - Honey, come on. - You find that funny? Hysterical! 462 00:30:06,746 --> 00:30:09,581 It wasn't funny but because I love you... 463 00:30:09,624 --> 00:30:12,909 - Thanks a lot! - What about the kids? 464 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:16,412 His kids? All right. Let's talk about his kids. 465 00:30:16,465 --> 00:30:22,004 They're spooky. I'm waiting for their heads to rotate and vomit pea soup. 466 00:30:22,053 --> 00:30:26,762 - I mean our kids. - Our kids already do that. 467 00:30:26,808 --> 00:30:30,972 What about this father-son thing? You're gonna leave? Come on. 468 00:30:31,021 --> 00:30:34,141 - He's driving me crazy! - You're a big man. 469 00:30:34,191 --> 00:30:37,110 You're a nice man and you're above all this. 470 00:30:37,154 --> 00:30:39,728 - Oh, don't. - You are. 471 00:30:39,782 --> 00:30:42,568 - Come on. - I know it to be true. 472 00:30:43,660 --> 00:30:45,987 Don't. Come on, I'm mad. I'm mad. 473 00:30:48,416 --> 00:30:51,583 Come on. All right, all right. Am I being silly? 474 00:30:51,628 --> 00:30:53,870 Crazy. Stop. 475 00:30:54,965 --> 00:30:58,714 - Why do you always do this? - I'm crazy about you. Kiss me. 476 00:31:00,304 --> 00:31:03,721 - Feel better? - I do. I'm sorry. I feel like a kid. 477 00:31:03,767 --> 00:31:05,509 OK. 478 00:31:05,559 --> 00:31:08,052 Why did you do this? I was ready to go! 479 00:31:08,105 --> 00:31:11,475 Why? I was almost in the car. 480 00:31:11,526 --> 00:31:15,024 Now I've got to spend a week with Roman. 481 00:31:15,070 --> 00:31:18,107 You're gonna have fun from now on. 482 00:31:18,157 --> 00:31:21,527 Roman's making goat-cheese pizza to take to the lodge. 483 00:31:21,578 --> 00:31:24,331 - Making what? - Er... 484 00:31:24,374 --> 00:31:26,116 - What did you say? - Pizza. 485 00:31:26,166 --> 00:31:28,954 - You said something else. - Big man pizza. 486 00:31:29,003 --> 00:31:31,328 What are you hiding? 487 00:31:31,380 --> 00:31:33,125 - Tell me what it is. - Pizza. 488 00:31:33,175 --> 00:31:37,717 No. You said a goat. Is he making goat pizza? Hey, come here! 489 00:31:40,098 --> 00:31:43,433 Roman, I've got a few things to gnaw over with you. 490 00:31:43,478 --> 00:31:45,055 What's up? 491 00:31:45,104 --> 00:31:47,939 I found your kids inside the mine perimeter. 492 00:31:47,982 --> 00:31:51,601 - What mine? - There's an old mica mine. 493 00:31:51,654 --> 00:31:55,604 It's full of boreholes, sinkholes, pits, caves, hollows. 494 00:31:55,658 --> 00:31:59,074 The war shut the facility down. 495 00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:02,405 Anyway the kids go there and yell down the holes 496 00:32:02,456 --> 00:32:04,664 so they can hear their voices echo. 497 00:32:05,669 --> 00:32:08,160 I won't tell you what the teenagers do. 498 00:32:08,212 --> 00:32:10,882 - I'll bet! - Tell Ripley too. 499 00:32:10,924 --> 00:32:12,419 Done. 500 00:32:12,468 --> 00:32:14,544 Take care of them, Roman. 501 00:32:16,598 --> 00:32:20,511 We could see a female Elvis impersonator at Whitewater 502 00:32:20,559 --> 00:32:23,680 and you want to wish happy birthday to some guy? 503 00:32:23,731 --> 00:32:26,056 If you want to go to Whitewater, go. 504 00:32:26,108 --> 00:32:29,311 I find it more interesting to pay my respects 505 00:32:29,361 --> 00:32:32,695 to a man who's lived on this earth 109 years. 506 00:32:32,739 --> 00:32:36,441 He's the oldest man in Canada. Isn't that something? 507 00:32:36,495 --> 00:32:39,994 I'd rather see a 46-inch bust singing Burning Love. 508 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,699 Yeah. 509 00:32:44,420 --> 00:32:48,418 Hey, Wally. How about a nice club soda? 510 00:32:48,466 --> 00:32:50,792 I'm driving tonight. 511 00:32:50,844 --> 00:32:55,221 Nice outfit. You're Mr. Coordinated tonight. 512 00:32:55,265 --> 00:32:57,887 - Well... - Quite the look on you. 513 00:32:57,935 --> 00:33:02,431 Yeah. Well, the pants are riding up the butt something fierce but... 514 00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:04,806 look at that. 515 00:33:04,858 --> 00:33:09,273 - Wally, how's the bear dump situation? - We got a good one. 516 00:33:09,323 --> 00:33:11,778 Good evening, sir. Happy birthday. 517 00:33:11,825 --> 00:33:15,491 He must be hard of hearing or something. Try again. 518 00:33:15,537 --> 00:33:18,907 Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Do you speak English? 519 00:33:18,958 --> 00:33:21,628 Our sincerest congratulations, sir. 520 00:33:21,669 --> 00:33:24,789 You wishing Mr. Tomkins a happy birthday? 521 00:33:24,839 --> 00:33:27,509 I don't think the guy can hear us. 522 00:33:27,551 --> 00:33:31,550 How about a nice group photo? Everybody get in there. 523 00:33:31,598 --> 00:33:34,170 - I push the red button? - (Buck) Yeah. 524 00:33:34,225 --> 00:33:36,134 - How do you focus? - You don't. 525 00:33:36,185 --> 00:33:38,593 - You don't focus? - Push the button. 526 00:33:38,646 --> 00:33:43,522 I don't like them climbing around Mr. Tomkins. He ain't no jungle gym. 527 00:33:43,568 --> 00:33:46,902 Girls, why don't you kiss Mr. Tomkins on the cheek? 528 00:33:46,947 --> 00:33:49,190 - No. - A nice kiss on the cheek. 529 00:33:49,242 --> 00:33:53,192 Come on, it's cute! What old man wouldn't like it? 530 00:33:53,247 --> 00:33:56,697 A dead one. Bill died in the car on the way over. 531 00:33:56,749 --> 00:34:01,127 - Jesus, Dad! - Go wash. Go wash. 532 00:34:01,171 --> 00:34:03,842 - I touched him. - In the bathroom. 533 00:34:03,883 --> 00:34:06,800 - How could you do that? - I didn't. He did it. 534 00:34:06,844 --> 00:34:09,133 You're disgusting! Kids? 535 00:34:09,180 --> 00:34:11,257 ( 536 00:34:27,950 --> 00:34:31,117 That was a really good shot, Ben. Really good. 537 00:34:45,930 --> 00:34:47,638 What the hell? 538 00:34:53,103 --> 00:34:56,308 Hey! You gave her a class goose with the pool cue. 539 00:34:56,358 --> 00:34:58,185 She's so cute. 540 00:34:59,571 --> 00:35:02,523 Violent but cute. You got chalk right there. 541 00:35:03,949 --> 00:35:07,532 - Look, I'll be back in a minute. - What about the bear dump? 542 00:35:07,578 --> 00:35:10,070 (Bears growling) 543 00:35:13,668 --> 00:35:17,713 (Chet) Hey, it's crowded. This is great. 544 00:35:17,756 --> 00:35:21,458 - (Ben) Yeah, Dad. - A lot of people are hip to this. 545 00:35:21,511 --> 00:35:24,084 Oh, yeah. Hey! 546 00:35:25,180 --> 00:35:29,975 Right. Look at those bears. Huh? 547 00:35:30,021 --> 00:35:33,020 Are you scared or what? Look at the bears! 548 00:35:34,023 --> 00:35:36,646 - They're great, Dad. - "They're great, Dad." 549 00:35:36,694 --> 00:35:39,400 You're gonna see some bears. 550 00:35:39,448 --> 00:35:41,736 - Dad? - Shh, shh, shh. 551 00:35:44,953 --> 00:35:47,445 Here you go! A nice Zagnut. 552 00:35:49,041 --> 00:35:51,199 Yeah. Come on. 553 00:35:53,213 --> 00:35:55,418 Come on. 554 00:35:55,464 --> 00:35:57,920 Come on. More. 555 00:35:57,967 --> 00:36:00,673 Come on. Here's some more. 556 00:36:03,974 --> 00:36:06,726 Jeez. Boy, he likes those. 557 00:36:06,768 --> 00:36:08,892 Now we'll get some action. 558 00:36:09,981 --> 00:36:12,898 Big head on him. Ooh, boy. 559 00:36:12,942 --> 00:36:15,399 Easy, easy there. Easy. 560 00:36:16,487 --> 00:36:20,782 Come on, watch the paint job! Hey, shoo! 561 00:36:20,826 --> 00:36:23,828 Look at the size of those teeth. Whoo. 562 00:36:25,624 --> 00:36:28,790 - Hey! Shoo! Go on. - Dad, I wouldn't do that. 563 00:36:28,834 --> 00:36:32,086 All right. Maybe you're right. He's looking at us. 564 00:36:32,131 --> 00:36:36,211 He's not finished. When he finishes, he'll go. 565 00:36:37,844 --> 00:36:41,012 - Pretty big bear. - Very big. 566 00:36:41,057 --> 00:36:45,138 Just let him eat his candy bar and shoo shoo shoo. 567 00:36:46,188 --> 00:36:48,429 Hi. How you doing? 568 00:36:50,442 --> 00:36:52,102 Whoo. 569 00:36:55,990 --> 00:36:58,990 Oh, Jeez! All right, all right. OK. 570 00:36:59,034 --> 00:37:02,036 Erm, let me rethink this. 571 00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:04,951 Hey! What the hell? 572 00:37:14,885 --> 00:37:17,258 All right. 573 00:37:17,305 --> 00:37:21,517 - I've told you I love you, right? - Yeah. 574 00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,801 Good. 575 00:37:25,690 --> 00:37:28,561 - What do you say we call it a night? - (Banging) 576 00:37:28,610 --> 00:37:32,904 Holy Jeez! Oh, boy! Oh, boy. We've started something. 577 00:37:32,948 --> 00:37:34,442 Erm... 578 00:37:34,491 --> 00:37:37,612 - Let's call it an evening. - Yeah. I'm tired. 579 00:37:37,662 --> 00:37:41,113 - Me too. Yeah. Let's just go. - Yeah. 580 00:37:41,165 --> 00:37:43,703 (Engine starts) 581 00:37:43,751 --> 00:37:46,955 - (Beeps horn) - That didn't scare him, Dad. 582 00:37:47,005 --> 00:37:50,375 I'm, erm... gonna move now. I'm moving now! 583 00:37:51,469 --> 00:37:54,338 All right. I'll just drive out. 584 00:37:54,387 --> 00:37:58,718 He'll jump right off. Don't you worry. 585 00:37:58,768 --> 00:38:02,980 Dad? Isn't it illegal to drive with a bear on your hood? 586 00:38:03,022 --> 00:38:05,181 I don't know in this state, son. 587 00:38:05,233 --> 00:38:06,977 (Bear growling) 588 00:38:07,027 --> 00:38:09,779 (Chet) It's Yogi and Boo Boo in the flesh. 589 00:38:09,821 --> 00:38:12,492 I wish Ranger Smith would get out here. 590 00:38:12,534 --> 00:38:16,068 - (Banging) - Hey, easy on the roof, pal! 591 00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:18,790 Should have brought Uncle Roman's car. 592 00:38:19,707 --> 00:38:21,785 (Whooping and laughter) 593 00:38:24,297 --> 00:38:26,372 Knock knock. 594 00:38:26,423 --> 00:38:29,959 You, er, didn't give me a chance to apologize. 595 00:38:36,351 --> 00:38:39,353 - Can I sit down? - I don't own the park. 596 00:38:40,439 --> 00:38:42,515 Oh. 597 00:38:44,152 --> 00:38:46,026 Look... 598 00:38:47,112 --> 00:38:49,354 - I just got here. I'm from... - Chicago. 599 00:38:50,491 --> 00:38:53,066 - How did you know? - It's no big trick. 600 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:57,414 You live in this town, it becomes like second nature. 601 00:38:57,458 --> 00:39:02,037 - I guess I just met my first local. - You don't know how local I am. 602 00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,799 You know... 603 00:39:08,636 --> 00:39:10,345 It's a... 604 00:39:11,348 --> 00:39:14,552 It's a really beautiful town. I mean... 605 00:39:14,602 --> 00:39:17,473 It's a hole in the earth. 606 00:39:17,522 --> 00:39:21,733 Look, save your breath. I'm not a tourist attraction. 607 00:39:25,823 --> 00:39:27,781 What did I do? 608 00:39:36,710 --> 00:39:39,248 Hey, Dad. 609 00:39:39,296 --> 00:39:42,214 - How are you? - What are you doing down here? 610 00:39:42,257 --> 00:39:45,591 Oh... getting a breath of night air. 611 00:39:48,264 --> 00:39:51,798 Hey... You want to take a spin in the rowboat? 612 00:39:52,851 --> 00:39:54,929 - Now? - What the hell? 613 00:39:54,980 --> 00:39:57,388 - In the dark? - We'll check out some stars. 614 00:39:57,441 --> 00:40:00,110 - I don't know. - Let's do something. 615 00:40:00,152 --> 00:40:02,690 - Let's go. - Dad... 616 00:40:02,738 --> 00:40:05,064 Come on. I'll let you row. 617 00:40:05,116 --> 00:40:07,239 - Oh, great. - It'll be fun. 618 00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,750 (Chet) Boy, what a beautiful sky. 619 00:40:13,792 --> 00:40:16,366 Smell that air. Isn't that something? 620 00:40:16,420 --> 00:40:18,128 (Buck coughs) 621 00:40:18,172 --> 00:40:22,881 That's the city in your lungs. You're getting the good air in now. 622 00:40:23,927 --> 00:40:27,926 One day, you'll be coming up here with your kids. 623 00:40:27,974 --> 00:40:31,225 - Yeah. Maybe. - I want to give you something. 624 00:40:31,270 --> 00:40:35,268 You're not going to kiss me in the boat under the moon? 625 00:40:35,316 --> 00:40:39,314 I'm not going to kiss you. I want to give you my ring. 626 00:40:41,030 --> 00:40:44,235 - Why? - Why? Because... 627 00:40:44,285 --> 00:40:47,819 my father gave it to me and I'm giving it to you. 628 00:40:47,871 --> 00:40:50,078 You're grown-up now. You deserve it. 629 00:40:50,124 --> 00:40:52,201 So, like, er... 630 00:40:53,295 --> 00:40:57,755 you and I coming to the woods is like your father bringing you here? 631 00:40:57,799 --> 00:41:00,836 - Yeah. I guess so. - Yeah. I understand. 632 00:41:02,512 --> 00:41:04,590 Thanks for the ring. 633 00:41:06,142 --> 00:41:08,219 (Chittering) 634 00:41:09,730 --> 00:41:12,399 'Rocks on top of the cans. 635 00:41:12,441 --> 00:41:15,193 'That never works. 636 00:41:15,236 --> 00:41:17,987 'We'll just knock the cans over.' 637 00:41:18,029 --> 00:41:20,355 'Of course we will. 638 00:41:21,284 --> 00:41:26,741 'Can I stay up again and watch the big guy rake up all the mess?' 639 00:41:59,993 --> 00:42:02,319 How are you doing... Cammie? 640 00:42:04,290 --> 00:42:06,532 Can I help you? 641 00:42:06,584 --> 00:42:09,040 I don't know. What's the house specialty? 642 00:42:10,839 --> 00:42:13,840 Where am I supposed to put the tray? 643 00:42:13,883 --> 00:42:17,716 Going by last night, I'm sure you can think of some good places. 644 00:42:17,763 --> 00:42:20,799 I'm sorry. I was in kind of a bad mood. 645 00:42:21,725 --> 00:42:24,133 Don't worry. It's no big deal. 646 00:42:24,186 --> 00:42:28,020 That doesn't mean I didn't mean what I said. It's true. 647 00:42:28,067 --> 00:42:32,978 Wait. You don't even know me. How can you say that's true of me? 648 00:42:33,031 --> 00:42:35,521 - It's a safe assumption. - (Man) Excuse me? 649 00:42:35,574 --> 00:42:39,442 - Can we get some service? - I'll be right there. I gotta go. 650 00:42:39,495 --> 00:42:42,581 - What time do you finish work? - Eight o'clock. 651 00:42:42,624 --> 00:42:44,700 Eight o'clock? 652 00:42:44,751 --> 00:42:47,622 And where are you going to be after work? 653 00:42:47,671 --> 00:42:50,080 I'll be around. 654 00:42:50,133 --> 00:42:54,594 - Can I see you? - Yeah. If you can find me. 655 00:43:21,334 --> 00:43:23,741 I got you. I got you! 656 00:43:32,888 --> 00:43:34,881 Come on, Chet! 657 00:43:34,932 --> 00:43:38,182 If you trail behind, the Indians will get you! 658 00:43:38,227 --> 00:43:42,272 - Come on, honey. - Uncle Roman, wait for Dad. 659 00:43:42,315 --> 00:43:44,806 Come on! Hurry up. 660 00:43:44,860 --> 00:43:48,608 Watch out for those Wisconsin rattlers and wild boar. 661 00:43:48,654 --> 00:43:51,573 (Connie) Honey, come on! 662 00:43:52,910 --> 00:43:54,986 (Ben) Wait up, you guys. 663 00:43:55,955 --> 00:43:58,281 Come on. Whoa. Hey. Ow! 664 00:43:58,333 --> 00:44:01,369 Easy. All right. OK. 665 00:44:01,419 --> 00:44:04,670 OK. Have it your way. I'll just get off. 666 00:44:07,886 --> 00:44:11,834 You all right? OK. We're walking. Come on. 667 00:44:13,015 --> 00:44:16,385 Come on, let's go. Hey! 668 00:44:16,436 --> 00:44:21,145 Easy, easy. Let's just walk back to the stable, all right? 669 00:44:21,191 --> 00:44:25,689 I'm walking, you're walking. Let's have a nice easy walk. 670 00:44:27,698 --> 00:44:32,990 All right. That was your last chance. That's it. Have it your way. 671 00:44:34,706 --> 00:44:38,122 I don't want to do this but you forced me to. 672 00:44:41,006 --> 00:44:45,667 I hate to do this to you. I'm normally not a mean person but I... 673 00:44:46,594 --> 00:44:49,383 Hey! Come back, you son of a bitch! 674 00:44:50,473 --> 00:44:53,843 That baby I was riding was a purebred - 675 00:44:53,894 --> 00:44:55,970 purebred mule horse! 676 00:44:57,232 --> 00:45:01,526 - You rode it like it was. - That baby was bred for packing. 677 00:45:01,570 --> 00:45:04,736 - You looked great on that horse. - Here he comes. 678 00:45:04,781 --> 00:45:07,865 Where is he? Hi, honey. 679 00:45:07,909 --> 00:45:11,611 (Roman) He's lost his mount. How are you doing, trouper? 680 00:45:11,664 --> 00:45:14,997 Where's that ball-slappin' nag you were riding? 681 00:45:15,042 --> 00:45:17,829 - (Connie) He looks the worse for wear. - OK, Dad? 682 00:45:17,878 --> 00:45:20,667 - I'm OK. - Did that horse buck you off? 683 00:45:20,716 --> 00:45:24,714 What happened? You got hungry and had to eat the nag, huh? 684 00:45:24,762 --> 00:45:26,635 - Let's go home. - What? 685 00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:28,674 - Go home. - Home? 686 00:45:28,725 --> 00:45:31,394 - We've got the whole day planned! - A nap. 687 00:45:31,436 --> 00:45:33,144 - Come on! - Oh, yeah. 688 00:45:33,188 --> 00:45:37,055 - Come on! - I'm fine. It was OK. 689 00:46:07,060 --> 00:46:10,142 I know musky's the big deal fish in these waters 690 00:46:10,186 --> 00:46:12,512 but come with me off the coast of Virginia, 691 00:46:12,565 --> 00:46:15,935 I'll let you hook into a thousand-pound blue marlin 692 00:46:15,986 --> 00:46:19,354 and you'll know what fishing's all about with a capital F! 693 00:46:19,405 --> 00:46:23,700 Excuse him. After a few cocktails, he's an expert on everything. 694 00:46:23,744 --> 00:46:27,195 - Was that a shot? - No, that was the truth. 695 00:46:27,247 --> 00:46:29,953 - That was a shot. - That was a shot. 696 00:46:30,001 --> 00:46:32,288 Speaking of shots, set us up! 697 00:46:34,255 --> 00:46:36,213 - This guy's a riot. - Isn't he? 698 00:46:36,257 --> 00:46:38,880 - Everybody loves him, right? - Oh, yeah. 699 00:46:38,928 --> 00:46:41,762 You make a lot of tips on this job? 700 00:46:41,805 --> 00:46:44,593 - I do all right. - Who handles your investments? 701 00:46:44,642 --> 00:46:47,134 My wife's got some egg money put aside 702 00:46:47,187 --> 00:46:49,808 but she won't give it up to me. 703 00:46:49,856 --> 00:46:52,643 I'll take her number, I'll change that. 704 00:46:52,692 --> 00:46:55,019 That's what I do - investments. 705 00:46:55,071 --> 00:46:57,063 How you doing? 706 00:46:57,114 --> 00:47:01,694 Well, it-it-it-it-it-it ain't-ain't r-r-r-raining. 707 00:47:01,745 --> 00:47:06,655 - It ain't r-r-r-raining, so t-t-that's good. - Yeah. I guess so. 708 00:47:06,707 --> 00:47:09,626 - You fellas met Reg? - I don't think so. 709 00:47:09,670 --> 00:47:13,336 How you doing? Roman Craig. Pleased to meet you. 710 00:47:13,383 --> 00:47:17,048 Er, Chet Ripley. How do you do? 711 00:47:17,095 --> 00:47:19,502 That's quite a hairdo you got. 712 00:47:19,555 --> 00:47:21,679 - A neo-skunk thing? - Roman! 713 00:47:21,725 --> 00:47:24,181 - The hair! - You don't have to say it. 714 00:47:24,228 --> 00:47:27,596 His hair turned white cos lightning hit him. 715 00:47:28,481 --> 00:47:31,982 He's been struck by lightning... How many times, Reg? 716 00:47:32,028 --> 00:47:35,610 S-S-S-Six... 717 00:47:35,656 --> 00:47:36,901 Six times? 718 00:47:36,949 --> 00:47:40,117 S-S-Six... 719 00:47:40,162 --> 00:47:42,238 Sixty-six times. 720 00:47:42,289 --> 00:47:46,369 In-n-n... 721 00:47:46,418 --> 00:47:47,961 the head! 722 00:47:48,004 --> 00:47:50,755 Sixty-six times? 723 00:47:52,342 --> 00:47:55,129 God! That's gotta hurt. 724 00:47:55,178 --> 00:47:59,555 You'll never meet a guy more tuned in to the barometric pressure than Reg. 725 00:47:59,599 --> 00:48:05,604 Yeah. You see him running like hell for home, head for cover. Right, Reg? 726 00:48:05,649 --> 00:48:08,732 Hey, you pay. I gotta go to the john. 727 00:48:08,776 --> 00:48:11,398 Introduce Mr. Thick Dick to Mr. Urinal Cake. 728 00:48:11,446 --> 00:48:13,688 Jeez, Roman! Do you have to? 729 00:48:13,742 --> 00:48:18,237 What I really want to say is... thank you. 730 00:48:18,287 --> 00:48:20,743 This is very important to Roman and me. 731 00:48:20,790 --> 00:48:24,491 - I miss you, Connie. - Oh, honey! 732 00:48:28,132 --> 00:48:30,622 It's so lonely being wealthy. 733 00:48:30,675 --> 00:48:32,799 Hm. I wouldn't know about that. 734 00:48:32,845 --> 00:48:37,341 No, I mean it, honey. I mean it, it is lonely. 735 00:48:37,392 --> 00:48:40,725 He works terrible hours. Travels. 736 00:48:42,147 --> 00:48:45,149 We go a month without going to bed together. 737 00:48:46,151 --> 00:48:48,393 Really? A month? That long? 738 00:48:48,445 --> 00:48:50,071 Mm-hm. 739 00:48:50,115 --> 00:48:54,492 I get pleasure by leaning against the washer during the spin cycle. 740 00:48:56,329 --> 00:48:59,699 - Does that work? - Have you ever seen whiter whites? 741 00:48:59,750 --> 00:49:02,122 (Kate giggling) 742 00:49:05,589 --> 00:49:09,837 - When do you go back to Chicago? - Erm, three days. 743 00:49:12,263 --> 00:49:16,262 I've never had a boyfriend for longer than two weeks. 744 00:49:17,519 --> 00:49:20,854 - Get outta here. - That's why I was such a bitch. 745 00:49:20,899 --> 00:49:23,567 - No, you weren't a bitch. - Yes, I was. 746 00:49:23,609 --> 00:49:25,685 It's no big deal. 747 00:49:25,736 --> 00:49:28,857 I don't understand what I'm doing here. 748 00:49:30,993 --> 00:49:33,663 Look, I've never even had a girlfriend. 749 00:49:34,705 --> 00:49:38,656 I've dated girls but never one I'd call my girlfriend. 750 00:49:39,711 --> 00:49:43,211 - What would you call me? - Officially? 751 00:49:48,094 --> 00:49:49,470 Girlfriend? 752 00:49:50,932 --> 00:49:54,467 And you're leaving in three days. See what I mean? 753 00:49:54,519 --> 00:49:56,475 Yeah. 754 00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:59,191 - Well? - Well what? 755 00:50:14,499 --> 00:50:17,121 (Woman screaming) 756 00:50:19,754 --> 00:50:23,171 - What? What? - It touched me! 757 00:50:23,217 --> 00:50:25,756 It's been touching you for 12 years. 758 00:50:25,804 --> 00:50:27,842 - Not you! - What? 759 00:50:27,888 --> 00:50:29,680 - A thing. - What thing? 760 00:50:29,723 --> 00:50:33,260 What's going on for God's sakes? What is it? 761 00:50:33,312 --> 00:50:35,684 That thing! 762 00:50:37,983 --> 00:50:40,226 That's just a little sparrow. 763 00:50:40,278 --> 00:50:42,401 Come on, Roman, it's got ears. 764 00:50:42,447 --> 00:50:44,689 Jesus! 765 00:50:44,741 --> 00:50:47,447 (All yelling) 766 00:50:47,495 --> 00:50:50,661 Jesus, it's a tiny flying mouse, not a bear. 767 00:50:50,706 --> 00:50:52,995 I am not going back in till it's out. 768 00:50:53,042 --> 00:50:55,414 - We'll get it out. Chet. - What? 769 00:50:55,461 --> 00:50:59,839 Get a shovel, go in there and get that radar-guided vermin. 770 00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:04,631 - Why me? - It's your cabin. We didn't order bats. 771 00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:07,171 - You stay here too. - You're the hosts. 772 00:51:07,224 --> 00:51:09,930 - So what? - Stop fighting and go kill it. 773 00:51:09,978 --> 00:51:12,266 - We don't have to kill it. - Kill it! 774 00:51:12,313 --> 00:51:16,014 - It didn't do anything. - It attacked me. 775 00:51:16,067 --> 00:51:18,606 He's wimping out. I'll take care of it. 776 00:51:18,654 --> 00:51:22,603 I am not wimping, I'm thinking. There's a big difference. 777 00:51:22,658 --> 00:51:25,231 If you want me to take care of it, I will. 778 00:51:25,286 --> 00:51:30,197 I'm just wondering who's gonna do it. I'll do it. I'd like to get some sleep. 779 00:51:31,167 --> 00:51:33,243 Afraid of a little bat. 780 00:51:40,887 --> 00:51:43,673 - So? - It buzzed me. 781 00:51:43,722 --> 00:51:48,136 We need a plan. It's bigger than I thought. It's about a two-pounder. 782 00:51:48,186 --> 00:51:50,559 - Two-pounder? - Yeah, big wings. 783 00:51:50,606 --> 00:51:53,442 - It's got the teeth. Frightening. - Wow. 784 00:51:54,401 --> 00:51:57,402 I think we have to do something. 785 00:51:57,446 --> 00:52:00,982 What we need, Roman - big plan. That's what we need. 786 00:52:09,210 --> 00:52:12,330 We'll have this baby squealing Mayday by midnight. 787 00:52:12,380 --> 00:52:14,373 Let's split up. 788 00:52:20,639 --> 00:52:22,715 - You see him? - He's hiding. 789 00:52:22,766 --> 00:52:26,810 Turn out the lights. He's nocturnal. He'll think it's daytime like this. 790 00:52:26,853 --> 00:52:28,930 Good point. 791 00:52:32,068 --> 00:52:35,853 - Have you got him? - Come on, you sonar-guided rodent. 792 00:52:36,949 --> 00:52:42,156 - Connie, bats carry rabies, don't they? - Yeah, among other things. 793 00:52:42,204 --> 00:52:44,446 I'm gonna call him now. 794 00:52:44,499 --> 00:52:46,327 OK, just be still. 795 00:52:46,377 --> 00:52:49,329 (Kissing sounds) 796 00:52:49,378 --> 00:52:52,962 - Are you kissing him or calling him? - I'm calling him! 797 00:52:53,008 --> 00:52:56,129 - That's the sound they make. - OK, OK. 798 00:52:57,096 --> 00:53:00,097 (Both shouting) 799 00:53:01,726 --> 00:53:04,929 (All shouting at once) 800 00:53:04,979 --> 00:53:07,222 - Dad! - Oh, no... 801 00:53:09,484 --> 00:53:11,773 (Roman) I got him! 802 00:53:15,950 --> 00:53:17,778 Keep back. 803 00:53:17,828 --> 00:53:21,446 - Get the light on him. - Keep your eye on the bat. 804 00:53:21,498 --> 00:53:23,206 Whoa! 805 00:53:23,250 --> 00:53:25,456 Look at that thing move! 806 00:53:26,546 --> 00:53:28,454 (Screams) 807 00:53:28,505 --> 00:53:30,546 Christ Almighty! 808 00:53:30,592 --> 00:53:32,584 Ooh, I hit my head. 809 00:53:32,635 --> 00:53:34,510 - Where is he? - I don't know. 810 00:53:34,555 --> 00:53:37,175 He's in the rafters. Where are you? 811 00:53:37,223 --> 00:53:39,264 I'm here! 812 00:53:39,310 --> 00:53:41,516 - He's on my face! - Hold still! 813 00:53:42,688 --> 00:53:45,393 - (Chet groaning) - Honey... 814 00:53:45,441 --> 00:53:47,434 We got it! 815 00:53:47,486 --> 00:53:50,570 - We got it! - Oh, the pain. 816 00:53:50,614 --> 00:53:53,863 - (Roman) We got it! - Ooh, that had to hurt. 817 00:53:55,452 --> 00:53:59,829 What a fighter. Boy, he was something. I salute him. 818 00:54:01,459 --> 00:54:04,163 But we got to get some sleep. 819 00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:07,209 (All groan) 820 00:54:15,724 --> 00:54:17,384 Hey. 821 00:54:17,434 --> 00:54:20,389 - Glad to see you. - What time do you get off work? 822 00:54:20,438 --> 00:54:22,977 - Eight. - Great. I'll meet you at nine. 823 00:54:23,025 --> 00:54:26,358 - Where? - I don't know! You live here. 824 00:54:26,402 --> 00:54:29,654 - Erm, the bait shop? - Sure. 825 00:54:29,699 --> 00:54:31,775 I'll buy you some worms. 826 00:54:32,869 --> 00:54:37,163 - You wanna ditch me? - Wait a second. Why would I ditch you? 827 00:54:37,207 --> 00:54:40,457 I don't know. I'm just waiting for it to happen. 828 00:54:40,502 --> 00:54:42,162 If I ditch you, 829 00:54:42,212 --> 00:54:46,128 you have my permission never to speak to me for as long as we live. 830 00:54:46,176 --> 00:54:48,297 - Promise? - Promise. 831 00:54:55,394 --> 00:54:57,516 I got to go. 832 00:54:57,562 --> 00:54:59,852 - See you later. - Bye. 833 00:55:02,777 --> 00:55:06,063 (Chet) Yeah, that should do it. (Connie) Good idea. 834 00:55:06,114 --> 00:55:10,360 I'll have the Royal Canadian Mounted beef barley soup. 835 00:55:10,409 --> 00:55:13,862 - Ooh, yeah. - And then that bucket of salad. 836 00:55:13,914 --> 00:55:17,450 - I'll split that with you. - You will? That would help. 837 00:55:17,502 --> 00:55:20,039 And then the medley of perch. 838 00:55:20,087 --> 00:55:23,042 That's my favorite. OK. 839 00:55:23,091 --> 00:55:26,626 Miss, what's the Old '96er? 840 00:55:26,678 --> 00:55:30,462 That's our world-famous Paul Bunyan's blue ox steak. 841 00:55:30,516 --> 00:55:33,636 It is a 96-ounce prime-aged beef steak 842 00:55:33,686 --> 00:55:38,100 and if any member of your party orders the Old '96er and finishes, 843 00:55:38,150 --> 00:55:40,226 everybody eats for free. 844 00:55:40,277 --> 00:55:44,061 - Not bad, huh? - Wanna go for it, girls? 845 00:55:44,114 --> 00:55:47,235 - How about you, Chet? - (Waitress) People like it. 846 00:55:47,285 --> 00:55:51,117 - I'll try it. What the heck? - Has anybody ever eaten one? 847 00:55:51,163 --> 00:55:55,114 Oh... no. Not in my lifetime, no. 848 00:56:17,235 --> 00:56:19,274 Bon app�tit. 849 00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:20,862 Oh, good God. 850 00:56:22,949 --> 00:56:25,439 (Man) Let's check it out. 851 00:57:02,910 --> 00:57:05,484 How is he? 852 00:57:05,539 --> 00:57:07,577 (Rumbling) 853 00:57:07,622 --> 00:57:11,704 That's good. Processing very nicely. All right, continue. 854 00:57:11,753 --> 00:57:13,912 (Excited chatter) 855 00:57:28,271 --> 00:57:30,845 - All right. - I did it! 856 00:57:36,531 --> 00:57:39,696 - That just about does it. - He's not done yet. 857 00:57:39,741 --> 00:57:42,827 He may take a while with that last bite but it'll go. 858 00:57:42,870 --> 00:57:45,541 - That ain't the last bite. - Sure it is. 859 00:57:45,583 --> 00:57:48,500 There's nothing left but gristle and fat. 860 00:57:50,087 --> 00:57:52,625 - Oh, God, no. - No problem. 861 00:57:52,673 --> 00:57:55,378 (Roman) If I can get a dessert down him, 862 00:57:55,426 --> 00:57:58,428 can we get some Paul Bunyan hats for the kids? 863 00:57:58,472 --> 00:58:01,425 - (Woman) Bye. - (Applause) 864 00:58:03,977 --> 00:58:05,436 Mom, can I go now? 865 00:58:05,479 --> 00:58:08,516 They'll be telling their grandkids about this. 866 00:58:08,566 --> 00:58:10,772 (Roman) What a night! 867 00:58:10,818 --> 00:58:12,811 Where's he going? 868 00:58:12,862 --> 00:58:17,027 That Jimbo's not a bad guy. I just had a word with him out back. 869 00:58:19,035 --> 00:58:21,076 (Chittering) 'Where're the garbage cans?' 870 00:58:21,122 --> 00:58:23,742 'He probably put them in the cabin.' 871 00:58:23,790 --> 00:58:25,369 'Garbage in the cabin?' 872 00:58:25,418 --> 00:58:29,119 'They're not the cleanest species on the face of the earth, you know. 873 00:58:29,172 --> 00:58:32,008 'It's not a problem. We'll just have to break in.' 874 00:58:32,050 --> 00:58:33,959 'Can we do that?' 875 00:58:34,010 --> 00:58:37,047 'What do you think we have these wonderfully articulate fingers for? 876 00:58:37,097 --> 00:58:39,091 'To scratch our asses!' 877 00:58:52,656 --> 00:58:54,732 Shit! 878 00:59:12,513 --> 00:59:15,264 - Oh, my God. - Jesus. 879 00:59:15,306 --> 00:59:18,842 (Roman) Look at the size of the maggots on that meat. 880 00:59:21,522 --> 00:59:23,598 Oh, honey! 881 00:59:26,695 --> 00:59:28,935 (Chet retching) 882 00:59:28,987 --> 00:59:31,111 (All screaming) 883 00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:33,908 Oh, my God. 884 00:59:35,288 --> 00:59:38,536 (Chet) Let's go everybody. Move it out. It's 5am. 885 00:59:38,581 --> 00:59:40,658 Fishing boat goes in 15 minutes. 886 00:59:40,709 --> 00:59:43,035 (All groaning) 887 00:59:44,464 --> 00:59:46,503 These are the biggest worms ever. 888 00:59:46,549 --> 00:59:50,879 (Chet) They're leeches. (Buck) I am not touching leeches! 889 00:59:50,929 --> 00:59:53,800 - They don't bite. - (Ben) No, they suck blood. 890 00:59:53,849 --> 00:59:57,634 (Chet) Would you watch the hook?! Where's the flashlight? 891 00:59:57,687 --> 01:00:00,437 (Roman) Behind you. You owe me big for this! 892 01:00:00,480 --> 01:00:02,557 (Big splash, Roman laughing) 893 01:00:02,608 --> 01:00:04,685 (Chet) Very funny. 894 01:00:04,736 --> 01:00:08,485 Give me a leech, will you? Has everybody got their leech? 895 01:00:08,532 --> 01:00:11,948 All right, on the count of three, insert your hook. 896 01:00:11,994 --> 01:00:15,198 One, two, three. 897 01:00:15,248 --> 01:00:17,406 (All groan) 898 01:00:21,129 --> 01:00:23,253 (Snoring) 899 01:00:25,217 --> 01:00:27,294 (Thunder rumbles) 900 01:00:29,764 --> 01:00:32,219 (All screaming) 901 01:00:47,284 --> 01:00:49,157 May I speak with Cammie? 902 01:00:49,202 --> 01:00:51,741 Hold on just a minute. Cammie, phone. 903 01:00:53,666 --> 01:00:56,619 Cammie's really busy, may I take a message? 904 01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:01,585 All right, just tell her that Buck called. 905 01:01:01,633 --> 01:01:03,921 OK, fine, Buck. Goodbye. 906 01:01:17,150 --> 01:01:19,902 - What are you up to? - What's it look like? 907 01:01:19,944 --> 01:01:24,157 - It looks like you're wanking your crank. - I'm trying to build a fire. 908 01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:26,820 You'll never get a fire going that way. 909 01:01:26,868 --> 01:01:30,320 You don't crumple a newspaper up, you twist it, 910 01:01:30,373 --> 01:01:33,375 lengthwise, to simulate kindling. 911 01:01:34,586 --> 01:01:38,963 Maybe, Roman, just maybe, I'm trying to heat up the flue. 912 01:01:40,133 --> 01:01:44,879 He's heating the flue. Meanwhile, the humans are freezing to death. 913 01:01:44,930 --> 01:01:49,225 - I'm really not cold. Not at all. - Thank you for sharing that. 914 01:01:49,268 --> 01:01:52,803 I'm so sorry, Roman. Forgive me. 915 01:01:52,856 --> 01:01:55,811 Why don't you come over and show me how to do it? 916 01:01:55,860 --> 01:01:58,693 You talk a great game, let's see some action. 917 01:01:58,736 --> 01:02:03,400 After all, you know everything. You always know exactly what to do. 918 01:02:03,451 --> 01:02:07,152 Katie, you were right, we should have gone to Europe 919 01:02:07,205 --> 01:02:09,577 or Antarctica or the Dead Sea. 920 01:02:09,624 --> 01:02:12,080 We would have had more fun. 921 01:02:12,127 --> 01:02:17,086 Is that a fact? Nobody forced you to come up here, buddy boy. 922 01:02:17,133 --> 01:02:21,428 As a matter of fact, I don't remember anybody inviting you. 923 01:02:21,471 --> 01:02:23,463 Do you remember inviting him? 924 01:02:25,099 --> 01:02:27,770 I sure as hell don't. 925 01:02:27,812 --> 01:02:32,557 - And what does that statement mean? - You figure it out for yourself. 926 01:02:32,608 --> 01:02:37,188 You specify, you clarify for me. Just as a common courtesy. 927 01:02:37,239 --> 01:02:42,196 - You know what he means. - They're saying we're not welcome. 928 01:02:42,243 --> 01:02:45,944 Oh! What did I hear? We've got a bingo! 929 01:02:45,997 --> 01:02:48,834 You did figure it out, Kate. 930 01:02:48,877 --> 01:02:53,621 So, now it's all starting to ooze out. It's very interesting, isn't it? 931 01:02:53,673 --> 01:02:55,215 Yeah, very. 932 01:02:55,258 --> 01:02:59,968 Especially since we threw aside our plans, and we had a great trip planned, 933 01:03:00,014 --> 01:03:02,386 to come up here to show these dead-asses 934 01:03:02,433 --> 01:03:05,221 how to start to learn to have a good time. 935 01:03:05,270 --> 01:03:07,843 Thanks for ruining my vacation. 936 01:03:08,939 --> 01:03:13,518 What was that? Ruining your vacation? Is that what you said? 937 01:03:13,569 --> 01:03:18,992 Oh, come on, I don't believe I heard you say that. 938 01:03:19,035 --> 01:03:22,285 - You'd better believe it. - Don't push it. 939 01:03:22,330 --> 01:03:26,576 You ain't even seen pushing yet. The trouble with you, Ripley, 940 01:03:26,625 --> 01:03:29,877 is you wouldn't know a good time if it fell on you. 941 01:03:29,922 --> 01:03:31,832 (Sighs) 942 01:03:31,883 --> 01:03:35,001 You got an awful lot of nerve, a lot of nerve. 943 01:03:35,051 --> 01:03:38,422 It's served me well. I'm the one with the Mercedes. 944 01:03:38,473 --> 01:03:40,715 By the way, is it paid for? 945 01:03:40,767 --> 01:03:43,887 - Are you jealous, Chester? - Don't call me Chester. 946 01:03:43,937 --> 01:03:47,141 Call me that and you'll go home with a dent in your forehead. 947 01:03:47,191 --> 01:03:51,770 - Yeah, that'll be the day. - Would you like one to match his? 948 01:03:51,821 --> 01:03:55,571 - You wanna go right now? - Dad, no one's denting anybody. 949 01:03:55,618 --> 01:03:59,033 - Thanks, Bucky. - Bite the big one, Uncle Roman. 950 01:03:59,079 --> 01:04:01,451 - Don't talk to adults that way. - Why not? 951 01:04:01,498 --> 01:04:04,950 - Because it's rude. - Oh, blow it out your ass. 952 01:04:05,002 --> 01:04:08,288 - Let's go. Come on, girls. - (Roman) Good idea. 953 01:04:08,339 --> 01:04:12,419 (Chet) It's the first good idea you've had since you've been here. 954 01:04:12,468 --> 01:04:14,675 And don't steal any of our stuff. 955 01:04:14,721 --> 01:04:18,137 - Ha! What stuff is there to steal? - We got stuff! 956 01:04:18,183 --> 01:04:22,929 - You're a louse. - Well, go find yourself a spin cycle. 957 01:04:22,980 --> 01:04:25,651 Yeah, go find yourself a spin cycle. 958 01:04:26,527 --> 01:04:30,358 - What does that mean? - Never mind. 959 01:04:30,405 --> 01:04:33,989 - Dad? - Yes, Ben. 960 01:04:34,035 --> 01:04:37,653 Does this mean we won't get a present from Uncle Roman? 961 01:04:37,706 --> 01:04:39,863 Blow it out your ass. 962 01:04:39,915 --> 01:04:42,752 Nobody's blowing anything out their ass. 963 01:04:42,795 --> 01:04:47,706 It's just a little problem, it doesn't mean we don't love your uncle and aunt, 964 01:04:47,758 --> 01:04:50,428 it just means we are having some emotions. 965 01:04:50,470 --> 01:04:54,549 What it means is that I'd like to blow Uncle Roman out my ass. 966 01:04:54,598 --> 01:04:59,011 I don't want any more about anyone blowing anything out their ass. 967 01:04:59,061 --> 01:05:02,976 You might as well blow the whole family out your ass, Dad. 968 01:05:03,024 --> 01:05:07,402 Do you understand what's going on? You understand what we're saying? 969 01:05:07,446 --> 01:05:09,902 Aunt Kate and Uncle Roman are buttheads. 970 01:05:09,949 --> 01:05:11,148 Exactly. 971 01:05:23,380 --> 01:05:27,296 All right, troops, mount up. We're ready to roll. 972 01:05:27,343 --> 01:05:31,507 - You all packed? - Actually, I was thinking things over. 973 01:05:31,556 --> 01:05:35,934 And I'm gonna tell you something I had previously decided not to. 974 01:05:35,978 --> 01:05:38,053 I came up here for a reason. 975 01:05:39,607 --> 01:05:42,644 I came here to talk to you about an investment. 976 01:05:42,694 --> 01:05:46,525 In fact, I came up to solicit $25,000 from you. 977 01:05:46,572 --> 01:05:49,610 I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. 978 01:05:49,660 --> 01:05:53,030 Look, a unique investment opportunity came my way 979 01:05:53,081 --> 01:05:57,458 and I'm thinking of people that I'm gonna bless with this chance 980 01:05:57,502 --> 01:06:00,171 cos this is so good it should be illegal. 981 01:06:00,213 --> 01:06:02,751 - And it probably is. - It's not. 982 01:06:02,799 --> 01:06:05,552 It's inside but it's not illegal. 983 01:06:05,595 --> 01:06:08,761 The upside is phenomenal, the downside is zip. 984 01:06:08,806 --> 01:06:12,851 I'm thinking about who I could involve in this and your name came up. 985 01:06:12,894 --> 01:06:16,098 Why? Because you are family. 986 01:06:16,148 --> 01:06:19,018 If a guy can't help his family, what good is he? 987 01:06:19,067 --> 01:06:22,769 I came up here to offer you a chance to make some big money. 988 01:06:22,822 --> 01:06:25,657 It's funny you didn't mention this before. 989 01:06:25,699 --> 01:06:29,532 - You didn't want to talk about money. - Baloney! 990 01:06:29,579 --> 01:06:33,577 (Roman) I was picking my moment. (Chet) You were picking your nose. 991 01:06:35,710 --> 01:06:38,084 There's no mystery here, Chet. 992 01:06:38,130 --> 01:06:41,250 - I know how you really feel about me. - Do you? 993 01:06:41,300 --> 01:06:43,127 Yep. 994 01:06:43,177 --> 01:06:46,962 I knew if I gave you something, you'd figure there'd be strings. 995 01:06:47,015 --> 01:06:49,850 - Is that a fact? - Yeah, that's a fact. 996 01:06:51,811 --> 01:06:53,889 At our wedding... 997 01:06:54,983 --> 01:06:59,858 you were in the john, with Kate and Connie's dad, you were talking. 998 01:06:59,904 --> 01:07:04,483 Do you happen to remember the substance of that conversation? 999 01:07:04,534 --> 01:07:07,026 - No, I don't. - Well, I do. 1000 01:07:08,205 --> 01:07:10,577 It's one I'll never forget 1001 01:07:10,624 --> 01:07:14,669 because I heard you say, and I quote, 1002 01:07:14,712 --> 01:07:18,378 "That Roman Craig is a crooked son of a bitch." 1003 01:07:18,425 --> 01:07:23,466 The next time you stab somebody in the back, check under the stalls for feet. 1004 01:07:23,513 --> 01:07:29,351 You may think I'm made out of armor but I'm just like any other human being 1005 01:07:29,395 --> 01:07:32,396 and when I get cut it hurts and that cut me. 1006 01:07:32,439 --> 01:07:34,682 And I hurt. 1007 01:07:36,527 --> 01:07:39,019 Roman, I'm... 1008 01:07:39,073 --> 01:07:41,149 I'm sorry, I... 1009 01:07:42,244 --> 01:07:45,611 I had a lot to drink that night and, er... 1010 01:07:45,662 --> 01:07:49,115 I really don't remember saying that but if you said I did... 1011 01:07:50,837 --> 01:07:53,291 then... 1012 01:07:53,338 --> 01:07:55,580 I must have. 1013 01:07:57,426 --> 01:08:01,092 I apologize to you both. It was a terrible thing to say. 1014 01:08:03,642 --> 01:08:07,306 I don't hold grudges and I don't have any hard feelings. 1015 01:08:07,353 --> 01:08:09,596 To show you I can forgive and forget, 1016 01:08:09,648 --> 01:08:13,481 I'd still like to offer you a piece of that investment. 1017 01:08:15,654 --> 01:08:17,612 Sweetie. 1018 01:08:18,908 --> 01:08:21,910 I don't know what to say, Roman, I... 1019 01:08:21,954 --> 01:08:24,029 I feel like a real idiot. 1020 01:08:25,123 --> 01:08:29,121 - What is this thing? - 25,000. What's your cash position? 1021 01:08:31,797 --> 01:08:34,835 It isn't 25,000, that's an awful lot of money. 1022 01:08:34,885 --> 01:08:37,506 Can you get it? 1023 01:08:37,554 --> 01:08:39,096 No! 1024 01:08:39,139 --> 01:08:45,013 I, er... I think I can make an arrangement or two at the bank on Monday. 1025 01:08:45,063 --> 01:08:47,138 Look, whatever you want to do. 1026 01:08:47,189 --> 01:08:51,816 You can write a cheque now and I'll make up the difference. 1027 01:08:51,861 --> 01:08:55,112 If that's OK? Is your chequebook in the purse? 1028 01:08:55,156 --> 01:08:58,691 - Yeah. - (Chet) Great. Then that's fine. 1029 01:09:05,210 --> 01:09:07,250 - Bye. - Goodbye. 1030 01:09:07,296 --> 01:09:11,127 I think it's a real testament to the strength of the family 1031 01:09:11,174 --> 01:09:13,499 that we can disagree so vehemently 1032 01:09:13,552 --> 01:09:17,420 and get on each other's nerves so badly over the past week 1033 01:09:17,474 --> 01:09:19,550 and still part on good terms. 1034 01:09:19,601 --> 01:09:21,676 Absolutely. 1035 01:09:22,938 --> 01:09:25,642 After all the disagreements you two had, 1036 01:09:25,690 --> 01:09:29,191 you still thought to include him in that investment. 1037 01:09:29,236 --> 01:09:34,231 It was a wonderful moment of trust on his part that he wrote you that cheque. 1038 01:09:34,283 --> 01:09:39,445 That's a lot of money for him. From what I gather, it's half a year's salary. 1039 01:09:39,498 --> 01:09:42,866 It may well be Ben and Buck's college money. 1040 01:09:42,917 --> 01:09:48,044 You have a knack with money and I think it's great you're sharing it with him 1041 01:09:48,091 --> 01:09:50,297 and that he accepted your offer, 1042 01:09:50,343 --> 01:09:53,759 that he trusts you with his financial well being. 1043 01:09:53,805 --> 01:09:57,637 Oh, I hope this investment really works out for them. 1044 01:09:57,683 --> 01:09:59,179 (Tires screech) 1045 01:09:59,228 --> 01:10:03,440 - I got to go back. - Did you forget something? 1046 01:10:03,482 --> 01:10:07,646 - You're scaring me, are you all right? - I will be once I settle this. 1047 01:10:23,379 --> 01:10:25,918 (Kate) Roman, what are you doing? 1048 01:10:25,966 --> 01:10:28,337 - Katie, sit down. - What? 1049 01:10:28,384 --> 01:10:31,801 You'll need to sit down to hear what I have to say. 1050 01:10:33,725 --> 01:10:37,175 - Gee, it's wet. - Hurry up. 1051 01:10:37,227 --> 01:10:39,185 Let's go. 1052 01:10:39,230 --> 01:10:44,605 Chet, I'm gonna level with you. I'm a phony, a fraud, a fake. 1053 01:10:44,653 --> 01:10:49,861 From my imitation Bally slip-ons to our replicated Rolexes. 1054 01:10:49,909 --> 01:10:53,408 We're broke. We're bankrupt. We're busted. 1055 01:10:53,454 --> 01:10:55,531 We're busted? 1056 01:10:57,459 --> 01:11:00,626 We were living well, right? Well beyond our means. 1057 01:11:02,255 --> 01:11:05,423 I haven't been trading in over two years. 1058 01:11:06,761 --> 01:11:09,631 This deal looked good, I got overextended, 1059 01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:14,142 couldn't meet my calls. I lost my seat on the exchange. 1060 01:11:14,186 --> 01:11:16,759 I go to work every morning. 1061 01:11:16,814 --> 01:11:19,767 Now I wear a blue runner's jacket and fetch coffee. 1062 01:11:19,816 --> 01:11:22,391 I lost everything. 1063 01:11:22,445 --> 01:11:25,362 Did you think that I wouldn't understand? 1064 01:11:25,406 --> 01:11:27,981 Baby, I knew you'd understand 1065 01:11:28,035 --> 01:11:32,827 but I also knew you wouldn't let me put the bite on Connie and Chet. 1066 01:11:32,872 --> 01:11:37,287 Look, Roman. You know I'd never turn my back on family. 1067 01:11:37,337 --> 01:11:39,793 I know, that's why I came up here. 1068 01:11:40,714 --> 01:11:44,251 That story about you and your brother in the can at the wedding, 1069 01:11:44,303 --> 01:11:46,461 I made it up. 1070 01:11:48,474 --> 01:11:52,424 You what? You made it up? 1071 01:12:00,864 --> 01:12:03,353 All right, all right. I got it, I got it. 1072 01:12:04,157 --> 01:12:06,151 Holy... 1073 01:12:07,036 --> 01:12:09,195 Holy jeez. 1074 01:12:10,999 --> 01:12:13,667 Whoo. 1075 01:12:13,709 --> 01:12:16,960 - (Groaning) - (Connie) What happened? 1076 01:12:17,005 --> 01:12:20,457 - Power's out. - Where's the flashlight? 1077 01:12:20,509 --> 01:12:23,261 - Chet? - What happened to the lights? 1078 01:12:23,304 --> 01:12:25,427 You kids got the flashlight? 1079 01:12:25,473 --> 01:12:30,349 Look at this. $110 for a lighter, it doesn't even work. 1080 01:12:30,395 --> 01:12:32,804 79 cents. Ha. 1081 01:12:32,857 --> 01:12:34,848 Whoo! Hot! 1082 01:12:34,899 --> 01:12:38,234 I haven't seen weather like this for years. 1083 01:12:40,574 --> 01:12:43,574 Roman, where are the girls? 1084 01:12:44,953 --> 01:12:47,159 Have you seen them? 1085 01:12:47,205 --> 01:12:49,282 - Have you seen them? - No. 1086 01:12:49,334 --> 01:12:53,830 Spread out, let's look for them. They'll be hiding under a bed. 1087 01:12:57,716 --> 01:13:02,179 - Come on, it's this way. - No, it's this way. I remember. 1088 01:13:03,224 --> 01:13:05,429 That big hole. 1089 01:13:09,521 --> 01:13:12,607 - We'll find them. - They're gonna be all right. 1090 01:13:12,651 --> 01:13:14,643 Don't worry about a thing. 1091 01:13:14,694 --> 01:13:17,897 Boys, stay here. Look after your mother and aunt. 1092 01:13:17,947 --> 01:13:21,198 - We'll help you. - There's too much lightning. 1093 01:13:21,243 --> 01:13:24,364 - We're near the cave. - Here's the fence. 1094 01:13:25,707 --> 01:13:27,912 Wait for me. 1095 01:13:27,958 --> 01:13:30,876 Cara! Mara! 1096 01:13:33,507 --> 01:13:35,500 - Try this way. - OK. 1097 01:13:35,551 --> 01:13:37,876 Thank you. 1098 01:13:38,970 --> 01:13:41,544 There we go. There we go. 1099 01:13:44,227 --> 01:13:47,015 We find the candles, then the light comes back on. 1100 01:13:47,064 --> 01:13:49,601 I win. 1101 01:13:52,403 --> 01:13:57,361 - I found it. I wanna go first. - No, I wanna. Me! 1102 01:13:57,408 --> 01:13:59,236 Hello! 1103 01:13:59,286 --> 01:14:01,158 (Both) Hello! 1104 01:14:02,204 --> 01:14:04,447 (Screaming) 1105 01:14:11,715 --> 01:14:15,796 - Cara! Mara! - Girls! 1106 01:14:26,691 --> 01:14:29,645 - Cara! - Mara! 1107 01:14:29,694 --> 01:14:32,611 Girls! Cara, Mara! 1108 01:14:37,703 --> 01:14:40,574 Cara! Mara! 1109 01:14:40,623 --> 01:14:43,375 Help! 1110 01:14:43,417 --> 01:14:45,659 Put your light up there. 1111 01:14:45,712 --> 01:14:47,835 There. 1112 01:14:48,882 --> 01:14:51,883 Girls, is that you? 1113 01:14:51,928 --> 01:14:54,714 It's Uncle Chet. Are you all right? 1114 01:14:54,763 --> 01:14:58,382 - Help! - We'll be right down. Go on. 1115 01:14:58,434 --> 01:15:00,510 - Not me. - What? 1116 01:15:00,561 --> 01:15:05,224 - I'm claustrophobic. What if I lose it? - You won't lose it. 1117 01:15:05,275 --> 01:15:08,192 - What if I blow it? - We gotta get some help. 1118 01:15:08,236 --> 01:15:11,237 (Chet) We don't have time. You can do it. 1119 01:15:11,281 --> 01:15:14,533 They're your children. Be their father. 1120 01:15:14,578 --> 01:15:18,028 For the first time in your life, be their father. 1121 01:15:18,080 --> 01:15:21,331 Come on. Get in there and help your kids. 1122 01:15:24,171 --> 01:15:27,337 Your dad'll be right down. Daddy's coming. 1123 01:15:27,382 --> 01:15:29,624 Let's go. You can do it. 1124 01:15:29,677 --> 01:15:32,347 - All right. - Here we go. 1125 01:15:32,389 --> 01:15:35,804 I'm gonna go get a light and some rope, OK? 1126 01:15:35,851 --> 01:15:38,602 All right? Take it easy. 1127 01:15:38,645 --> 01:15:43,556 Don't think about tight places like a submarine or a coffin. 1128 01:15:43,609 --> 01:15:46,231 - Come back. - I'll be back. 1129 01:15:55,080 --> 01:15:57,750 No! 1130 01:16:00,836 --> 01:16:04,502 Oh. My little sweeties. 1131 01:16:04,549 --> 01:16:06,625 Oh, I love you. 1132 01:16:12,933 --> 01:16:17,062 Chet! They're all right! 1133 01:16:17,105 --> 01:16:19,893 Apollo unicell... 1134 01:16:20,859 --> 01:16:22,851 It's dynamite. 1135 01:16:22,902 --> 01:16:24,942 Wet, old dynamite. 1136 01:16:26,740 --> 01:16:29,197 It's fine. It's fine. 1137 01:16:29,244 --> 01:16:31,531 Chet. Chet! 1138 01:16:34,249 --> 01:16:36,621 Ripley. 1139 01:16:36,668 --> 01:16:39,586 OK, we want to get out of here. 1140 01:16:39,629 --> 01:16:43,710 It's cold, it's wet and you don't want to stay here. 1141 01:16:43,759 --> 01:16:46,963 You hang on to Daddy as tight as you can. 1142 01:16:48,264 --> 01:16:50,423 OK. Come on. 1143 01:16:51,519 --> 01:16:55,183 Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Big one. Big spider. 1144 01:16:55,230 --> 01:17:00,308 OK, climb on, Cara. Mara, get on your sister's back. 1145 01:17:00,362 --> 01:17:04,193 Grab hold of my jacket. Hang on tight. 1146 01:17:06,951 --> 01:17:09,158 OK, my babies. 1147 01:17:21,260 --> 01:17:23,466 Which way? 1148 01:17:25,387 --> 01:17:28,389 Hang on, we're almost there. 1149 01:17:36,067 --> 01:17:38,190 Jeez, damn. 1150 01:17:38,236 --> 01:17:40,275 Come on. 1151 01:17:42,907 --> 01:17:45,281 Go, Cara. Go! 1152 01:17:58,424 --> 01:18:01,261 Let's go back to the cabin. 1153 01:18:02,847 --> 01:18:06,181 Your mother's probably worried sick about you. 1154 01:18:08,186 --> 01:18:10,060 Here we go. OK. 1155 01:18:11,564 --> 01:18:14,056 Hang on. Hang on. 1156 01:18:15,653 --> 01:18:18,821 Roman, girls, I'm back. 1157 01:18:18,866 --> 01:18:21,153 I got everything. I'm here. 1158 01:18:21,199 --> 01:18:25,246 I'll have you out in a second. Just a minute. Hold on. 1159 01:18:25,288 --> 01:18:28,574 I'm sorry it took so long. I'll explain later. 1160 01:18:29,626 --> 01:18:32,544 Just a sec. Get off me. I got a rope. 1161 01:18:33,047 --> 01:18:37,127 You'll be fine. I'm gonna tie a rope at the end of this thing. 1162 01:18:37,176 --> 01:18:39,216 I'm gonna throw it down 1163 01:18:39,262 --> 01:18:43,758 and, one at a time, I'll pull you up, OK? 1164 01:18:43,808 --> 01:18:47,225 Here comes the rope. Watch your heads. 1165 01:18:47,271 --> 01:18:49,430 Here it comes. 1166 01:18:53,736 --> 01:18:56,691 All right, have you got it? 1167 01:18:58,909 --> 01:19:02,076 OK. You got it? Good. 1168 01:19:02,120 --> 01:19:06,201 You let me know when you're ready to come up, OK? 1169 01:19:06,250 --> 01:19:08,741 Then I'll pull you up. 1170 01:19:09,712 --> 01:19:11,753 Fine, you're ready. 1171 01:19:11,799 --> 01:19:13,707 Just a second. 1172 01:19:13,758 --> 01:19:18,634 OK, girls, Uncle Chet's here. OK. 1173 01:19:18,680 --> 01:19:21,351 Roman, you could help, you know. 1174 01:19:21,393 --> 01:19:25,805 All right. One, two, three, go. 1175 01:19:27,690 --> 01:19:29,898 Hey, what the hell are you doing? 1176 01:19:31,027 --> 01:19:34,646 When I say ready, huh? When I say ready. 1177 01:19:34,698 --> 01:19:37,189 All right. I'm ready. 1178 01:19:40,955 --> 01:19:43,625 Come on. Help out a bit, will you? 1179 01:19:45,376 --> 01:19:48,331 Here it comes. We'll be going home soon. 1180 01:19:50,925 --> 01:19:54,044 Roman and I are going to have a talk, later on. 1181 01:19:54,094 --> 01:19:57,298 We're going to talk about helping people. 1182 01:19:57,348 --> 01:20:01,181 OK. Here we go. Everybody help Uncle Chet. 1183 01:20:01,228 --> 01:20:03,101 Come on. 1184 01:20:05,733 --> 01:20:08,734 We did it. I did it. 1185 01:20:18,830 --> 01:20:20,823 A baldheaded bear! 1186 01:20:20,874 --> 01:20:23,496 (Screams) 1187 01:20:41,355 --> 01:20:43,763 (Bear growls, Chet screams) 1188 01:20:48,947 --> 01:20:51,105 Whoa! 1189 01:20:51,157 --> 01:20:53,365 Nice bear. Oh, God. 1190 01:20:56,622 --> 01:20:59,196 I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die! 1191 01:20:59,250 --> 01:21:00,828 No, I'm not. 1192 01:21:00,877 --> 01:21:03,036 Leave me alone. Go away. 1193 01:21:03,088 --> 01:21:05,661 I gotta move faster. 1194 01:21:21,441 --> 01:21:23,814 He's back, everybody. 1195 01:21:24,903 --> 01:21:27,193 Chet! Hi. 1196 01:21:27,240 --> 01:21:31,702 - Where the hell were you? - Come in, I'm making you a sandwich. 1197 01:21:31,745 --> 01:21:34,200 Big, big, whoo big... 1198 01:21:34,247 --> 01:21:36,121 All right, we'll make a big one. 1199 01:21:36,166 --> 01:21:39,037 - Big bear. - Big bear! 1200 01:21:39,086 --> 01:21:42,337 No! True. True. Out there. 1201 01:21:42,382 --> 01:21:44,837 We're glad you're home, honey. 1202 01:21:44,884 --> 01:21:48,087 - Big bear... chase... - What is he saying? 1203 01:21:48,137 --> 01:21:50,890 - What? - Big bear chase me. 1204 01:21:51,808 --> 01:21:53,553 (Growling) 1205 01:21:58,441 --> 01:22:02,486 Up the stairs! Get upstairs! Oh, my God, it's a bear! 1206 01:22:04,406 --> 01:22:06,779 It's a bear, it's a bear! 1207 01:22:06,826 --> 01:22:09,280 Get off, you son of a bitch. 1208 01:22:10,871 --> 01:22:15,499 Roman! Roman! Wow! Wow! 1209 01:22:17,086 --> 01:22:19,209 Uncle, uncle, uncle. 1210 01:22:22,259 --> 01:22:24,881 Oh, my God. Protect us! 1211 01:22:24,929 --> 01:22:26,720 Hold on. 1212 01:22:28,181 --> 01:22:30,259 Mom. 1213 01:22:38,027 --> 01:22:40,695 Connie, stay down. 1214 01:22:51,875 --> 01:22:54,448 Hit him with the poker. 1215 01:23:00,802 --> 01:23:02,710 Look out! 1216 01:23:10,145 --> 01:23:12,850 Big bear... Big bear chase me. 1217 01:23:20,740 --> 01:23:22,863 This big. 1218 01:23:34,714 --> 01:23:38,546 - Thank God you're here. - Shoot him. 1219 01:23:38,593 --> 01:23:41,879 - It's a goddamn lamp. - But it's loaded. 1220 01:23:41,930 --> 01:23:44,053 I can't hold out much longer! 1221 01:23:44,099 --> 01:23:46,507 - Quit pushing me. - Give it me. 1222 01:23:50,481 --> 01:23:51,810 Shoot him. 1223 01:23:53,651 --> 01:23:56,357 Oh! Right in the... 1224 01:23:56,405 --> 01:23:58,730 (Bear squealing) 1225 01:24:09,753 --> 01:24:12,079 (Squealing continues) 1226 01:24:13,757 --> 01:24:15,797 OK, let's roll. 1227 01:24:15,842 --> 01:24:18,714 Can't believe that I'm gonna miss this place. 1228 01:24:18,763 --> 01:24:21,051 - Uncle Chet. - Yes, sweetheart. 1229 01:24:21,098 --> 01:24:24,634 - I had a really good time. - Well, I'm glad. 1230 01:24:24,687 --> 01:24:28,849 - Thanks, Uncle Chet. - My pleasure, sweetheart. 1231 01:24:28,898 --> 01:24:32,435 We had a nice time having you. We're gonna miss you. 1232 01:24:32,487 --> 01:24:35,857 Will I see you soon? And don't drive too fast. 1233 01:24:35,908 --> 01:24:40,451 - Take your seats, in the trunk. - (Kate) Knock it off. 1234 01:24:42,539 --> 01:24:45,660 Cammie, if you're out there... 1235 01:24:45,710 --> 01:24:50,004 I just want you to know I don't blame you for hating me. 1236 01:24:50,048 --> 01:24:53,381 (Cammie) City boys always talk to themselves? 1237 01:24:59,724 --> 01:25:02,013 Look, I'm really sorry. 1238 01:25:02,060 --> 01:25:06,225 I want you to go back to Chicago a crazed, lovesick maniac. 1239 01:25:06,274 --> 01:25:10,437 When you look at another girl, you'll compare her to me. 1240 01:25:10,486 --> 01:25:12,812 Sounds good to me. 1241 01:25:17,745 --> 01:25:21,825 - You're a good man. You're the best. - You're not so bad. 1242 01:25:23,333 --> 01:25:27,285 - You drive safely. - Thanks. 1243 01:25:27,339 --> 01:25:29,878 - Race you home. - You got it. 1244 01:25:31,801 --> 01:25:33,842 Race you home. 1245 01:25:35,264 --> 01:25:37,507 Take care. 1246 01:25:39,102 --> 01:25:41,307 Bye-bye. 1247 01:25:44,274 --> 01:25:46,647 Race you home. 1248 01:25:48,779 --> 01:25:52,113 Why would he say that? He lives out in Oak Park. 1249 01:25:52,158 --> 01:25:54,364 It's just till he gets on his feet. 1250 01:25:54,410 --> 01:25:58,408 I think you should be proud of him not taking your loan. 1251 01:25:58,456 --> 01:26:02,668 - What are you saying? - We have plenty of room. 1252 01:26:02,710 --> 01:26:04,870 He is not staying at our house. 1253 01:26:04,922 --> 01:26:08,042 If he beats us, he'll get the good spot in the garage. 1254 01:26:08,135 --> 01:26:11,254 - To the memories. - To the memories. 1255 01:26:12,681 --> 01:26:14,922 - Chester! - Buckley! 1256 01:26:14,974 --> 01:26:19,637 Get in the car, we've got to beat Roman home. Move it. 1257 01:26:19,688 --> 01:26:22,145 ( Land Of A Thousand Dances) 1258 01:26:24,111 --> 01:26:25,902 1259 01:26:25,946 --> 01:26:28,436 1260 01:26:28,489 --> 01:26:29,688 1261 01:26:29,741 --> 01:26:32,577 1262 01:26:32,620 --> 01:26:35,288 1263 01:26:35,330 --> 01:26:37,406 1264 01:26:38,500 --> 01:26:40,874 1265 01:26:40,921 --> 01:26:43,494 1266 01:26:43,549 --> 01:26:45,588 1267 01:26:46,467 --> 01:26:48,545 1268 01:26:48,596 --> 01:26:51,798 1269 01:26:53,852 --> 01:26:55,014 1270 01:26:55,061 --> 01:27:00,898 na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-Na 1271 01:27:00,943 --> 01:27:03,315 say it one time 1272 01:27:03,362 --> 01:27:09,234 na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-Na 1273 01:27:09,284 --> 01:27:11,990 1274 01:27:34,772 --> 01:27:35,887 1275 01:27:35,940 --> 01:27:38,513 1276 01:27:38,567 --> 01:27:40,856 1277 01:27:41,904 --> 01:27:48,074 na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-Na 1278 01:27:48,161 --> 01:27:50,155 let's say it one more time 1279 01:27:50,206 --> 01:27:56,410 na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-Na 1280 01:27:56,462 --> 01:27:59,251 1281 01:27:59,300 --> 01:28:01,456 1282 01:28:02,469 --> 01:28:04,046 1283 01:28:05,138 --> 01:28:06,799 1284 01:28:07,892 --> 01:28:10,299 1285 01:28:10,352 --> 01:28:12,392 1286 01:28:13,481 --> 01:28:15,688 1287 01:28:15,734 --> 01:28:17,892 1288 01:28:18,570 --> 01:28:20,896 1289 01:28:20,948 --> 01:28:27,864 na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-Na 1290 01:28:27,913 --> 01:28:30,121 say it one time 1291 01:28:30,167 --> 01:28:36,750 na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-Na 1292 01:28:36,798 --> 01:28:38,626 1293 01:28:59,824 --> 01:29:02,695 1294 01:29:02,744 --> 01:29:05,282 1295 01:29:05,330 --> 01:29:08,616 1296 01:29:08,667 --> 01:29:14,872 na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-Na 1297 01:29:14,924 --> 01:29:17,131 let's say it one more time 1298 01:29:17,177 --> 01:29:23,595 na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-Na 1299 01:29:23,642 --> 01:29:26,679 1300 01:29:27,771 --> 01:29:29,728 1301 01:29:30,817 --> 01:29:33,225 1302 01:29:33,278 --> 01:29:35,271 1303 01:29:36,114 --> 01:29:38,072 1304 01:29:38,783 --> 01:29:40,658 1305 01:29:41,787 --> 01:29:45,737 and watch me work, y'all 1306 01:29:47,210 --> 01:29:49,002 1307 01:29:50,088 --> 01:29:52,758 1308 01:29:52,799 --> 01:29:55,373 1309 01:29:55,427 --> 01:29:57,635 1310 01:30:02,143 --> 01:30:04,895 'Why's Jody sitting in the lake?' 1311 01:30:05,980 --> 01:30:08,269 'You didn't hear? 1312 01:30:08,817 --> 01:30:11,024 'She got shot in the ass!' 1313 01:30:11,487 --> 01:30:13,111 'Oh, no! 1314 01:30:13,155 --> 01:30:15,444 'Don't tell me...' 1315 01:30:16,117 --> 01:30:17,611 'Yup... 1316 01:30:17,660 --> 01:30:20,235 'She's bald on both ends now!'